[Summer; Endurance Running] maybe we're all just fools 1.2

[gameseason_mod]

Title: maybe we’re all just fools
Author: airplanewishes
Rating: PG
Fandom: BTS/Bangtan, mentions of IU, some members of Red Velvet, GOT7, EXO, SHINee, VIXX, BTOB, Girls’ Generation
Pairing(s)/Focus: Jungkook/V (Jeongguk/Taehyung)
Length: 52,650
Summary: Jeongguk likes to run. He’s never wanted anyone to run with him before.
Warnings: mentions of separation
Notes:
1. Started from the bottom now we’re here. Whew. I couldn’t have finished this without handholding from G, L, and A. Thank you. To all who follow me on Twitter, thank you for listening/reading through my ramblings. <3
2. Title is from BTS’ Let Me Know (with a little editing).




“You look like you’re running away.”

Jeongguk pauses in the middle of putting on his white shirt, his muscles tensing under the weight of the gaze on his back, before tugging it down and turning around. Leaving like this is what he hates the most. Getting caught in the middle of sneaking out is why he doesn't like doing things like this. Despite the fact that it's not a surprise that he is leaving without any say so, Jeongguk would just rather not he get called out on it, especially by someone whom he knows well.

Jieun is pretty even with her rumpled hair and smudged make-up. Jeongguk considers walking back and reaching out to rub his thumb under her eye to take the smudge off for a second, and then thinks about what that might imply and decides against it. She chuckles at his hesitation and leans back on the headboard. She pulls the covers to her chest, her long hair falling to her shoulders in waves, something that he's always told her guys go crazy over.

"Listen, Jieun," Jeongguk starts, his grip on his bag tightening as he braces himself to just blurt out what he wants to say. "This isn’t—Are we okay?"

"Please, Guk," Jieun cuts him off with a laugh. It's bigger this time, with more teeth, and her eyes fall into crescents, reminding Jeongguk of happier and easier days. “Don’t worry about it. Besides, we both know what this is and isn't." She waves him off as him to tell him to just leave already. "You're going to be late for your class and you still need to go back to your apartment and shower," she tells him.

Jeongguk smiles at her, the most genuine one that he can offer her under the circumstances, and allows himself to lean forward and press a kiss to the crown of her head. He's known Jieun for a long time, way before high school, way before things became different. He appreciates that she's taking this better than he hoped she would. Jeongguk has always thought that sex isn't to be taken lightly. But of course Jieun knows how he feels. She's the only person who knows him because she's the only one who's still around, aside from Jimin.

He slings his backpack over his shoulder as he slips out of her dorm. He fiddles with his phone in his pocket, knowing it would be better if he just manned up and told Jimin about what happened. Jimin is even more protective of Jieun than Jeongguk is, because Jimin has known her longer than Jeongguk has. Jimin is probably going to get mad at him, because of how it looks. Jeongguk breathes out as his mind goes through the possible scenarios that can happen and takes his hand out of his pocket. He'll deal with it when he sees Jimin.

“You’re back early,” is the first thing Jimin says the moment Jeongguk walks into their shared apartment. “Or should I say late?” Jimin looks up from where he’s sitting in the living room in the middle of all of his books and pushes up his thin-framed glasses. “Where have you been?"

“Uh, out,” Jeongguk stammers, surprised that Jimin doesn’t know where he was. He drops his bag next to the sofa and takes his shirt off before moving into his room. “Sorry I didn’t text,” he calls out as he rummages into his closet for a clean shirt and a new pair of pants. There is no way Jimin doesn’t know. But if Jimin is playing dumb, Jeongguk is going to go along with it just so he can save himself from confrontation.

He shouldn’t really be this bothered. He and Jieun are okay. Jieun said it so herself. Besides, they’ve been friends for so long, there’s no way this is going to affect their friendship. Jeongguk really hopes Jieun wouldn’t let it because Jeongguk sure as hell won’t.

When Jeongguk finishes taking a shower and dressing up, grabbing his bag to leave for his first class, Jimin is still in the living room, but this time he’s focused on his phone. Jimin’s brows are furrowed, which is something Jeongguk rarely sees. Jimin is the kind of guy who always has a smile on his face.

“I’m heading out,” Jeongguk announces, shifting his bag higher up his shoulder. He pauses, his hand on the doorknob. “Don’t you have class?"

“Cancelled,” Jimin says, putting his phone down and looking at him. He smooths his furrowed brows with his fingers and sighs. “I have an exam last period. You have practice today, right? Do you think you can come pick me up at the studio afterwards? I’m going to relocate to the library and I’ll have to bring all of these,” he says, gesturing at all the thick books and notes scattered around him.

“Yeah sure,” Jeongguk doesn’t even hesitate on agreeing. “I’ll come by with Jieun."

“Nah, don’t bother her,” Jimin says, shaking his head and turning back to his books. “She mentioned something about having a girls night out and said she doesn’t want to see our faces."

Something clenches in Jeongguk’s heart at this, but he chooses to ignore it. “Okay,” he says instead. “See you later."

“See you,” Jimin calls as Jeongguk closes the door behind him. He takes a deep breath and runs to his first class.










There’s a quote by Clarence DeMar that Jeongguk lives by: Run like hell and get the agony over with. In fact, he’s been doing it even before he knew who the seven-time Boston Marathon winner and Olympic medalist was. Ever since high school, he decided that he’s going to do even better than how he’d been doing in school. He’s going to work hard and he’s going to excel. Jeongguk will run as fast and as hard as he can, and not care about how difficult things could become. With great ambition and effort comes struggle, of course, but Jeongguk doesn’t even care about that. He’s mastered dealing with distractions and hardships.

Now that he’s in university, he thinks he’s doing pretty well for himself. He’s on scholarship and studying something that he enjoys. There’s also Jimin and Jieun, who are pretty much his family. There’s really nothing more Jeongguk can ask for at the moment. Except maybe a few more medals and some recognition to take him where he thinks he wants to go.

“You staying?” Yugyeom calls after Jeongguk, who stays on the field even as the rest of their teammates walk towards the locker room.

“For a bit more,” Jeongguk agrees, pushing his sticky hair off his forehead. The field is empty of people, the sky dimming as the sun starts to set, which is exactly how he likes it. The more he can be by himself, the more he can think.

Jeongguk runs several more laps, enjoying the feel of his thigh and leg muscles tightening as he pushes himself. Even though his arms feel heavy as well, he keeps his feet moving forward, one after the other. He squeezes his eyes shut for a second, trying to enjoy the cooling breeze on his face as he pushed himself to finish another lap or two. He can feel his feet hurting a bit and even his chest feels like it's about to burst, which is pretty much his indicator that he should stop. Right about now, Jeongguk has run about five kilometer in distance, which is more than is required for them by their coach. Although everyone knows by now that Jeongguk always runs more than the required every practice. It's probably the reason why it takes so long for Jeongguk to get tired while running.

"I just knew you would be here, running as usual," Jimin greets him the moment Jeongguk decides to stop and run in place instead as part of his cool down.

"Hey," Jeongguk pants, making a pouting face as Jimin rolls his eyes. Jeongguk spots Jimin's stack of books and gym bag on the grass. "I'm really sorry," he adds, jutting his lower lip out even more. Jimin rarely asks him for favors and it sucks when he lets him down even on those few times. "I—"

"Forgot, I know," Jimin says, shaking his head and crossing his arms on his chest, his plain white shirt getting stretched on the arms and shoulders. "Go get showered. I'll wait for you." He then stretches his arms upward, showing a sliver of tummy in between his shirt and black basketball shorts.

Jeongguk nods as he picks up Jimin's gym bag and walks to the locker room, followed by Jimin, carrying his books. "I'll be really quick," he promises.

"Please don't," Jimin insists as they enter the locker room. He immediately sits on the bench in front of Jeongguk's locker. "I'd really rather not you smell while we go out tonight."

This perks Jeongguk's interest. He takes his head out of his locker, grabbing his bag to put it on the bench beside Jimin instead. He grabs a face towel and dabs the sweat off his face, neck and arms. Jimin isn't exactly a killjoy, but he really isn't one to invite people to parties either. The last time Jeongguk went to a party that Jimin said was really fun, Jimin got so smashed, Jeongguk had to carry him on his back all the way back to their apartment.

"What's the occasion and why am I invited?" Jeongguk asks, taking off his shirt and shorts, leaving him in only his Pokemon boxers. Jimin snorts at this, which Jeongguk ignores because Pokemon is great. He walks to the nearest shower and turns it on, testing the water.

"It's a dance thing," Jimin calls after him, raising his voice to be heard over the sound of the shower. "Hoseok's inviting everyone over to his apartment. No occasion really."

Hoseok is one of the best dancers in the university's dance team from what Jeongguk knows from Jimin. Jeongguk hasn't actually seen him dance, but Jimin talks about him so much and has described his dancing to a tee that Jeongguk sometimes feel that he has. He's never even really seen Jimin dance the whole time they've been in university. Sure, Jimin does some dancing in the small space of their apartment, but it feels like it's been a long time since Jeongguk actually sat down and attended an event to watch Jimin perform.

"Do you want to drop off your books at the apartment first?" Jeongguk asks as he steps out of the shower, the towel around his waist. He grabs his clothes from his bag and puts them on one by one. It's a good thing he brought a decent shirt and clean jogging pants along. It's not exactly a party outfit, but he's hung out with their friends in much worse before so it shouldn't matter. "Also, are you going in that?" he asks, referring to Jimin's plain white shirt and black basketball shorts.

"Really?" Jimin sits up straight and stares at Jeongguk as he finishes dressing up. "I don't have to drag you kicking and screaming?"

Jeongguk scoffs. He doesn't hate partying. He just doesn't see the point of it. Parties are meant for socializing and meeting people and maybe meeting someone to possibly date. Jeongguk doesn't really care about that. He has his friends and he sees them regularly at places that aren't parties. As for meeting someone to date, well, he cares for that even less.

"I'm guessing we're dropping by our apartment since there's no way you're not going to dress up for a party even if it's with people who've seen you at your worst," Jeongguk says, picking up his bag and slinging it over his shoulder. He slings Jimin's gym bag on his other shoulder.

"You don't know who else is going to be there," Jimin defends himself, grinning at him as he picks up his books.

“It’s not like anyone cares, but okay," Jeongguk sighs, shaking his head.

"This is one of those moments where I really feel like you're my best friend," Jimin announces with a laugh. Jeongguk kicks him on the shin.










Jeongguk may like parties just a little bit, he thinks, as he watches Hoseok and Jimin laugh like it’s the first time they’re laughing in a very long time. They all laugh a lot and love to laugh at the benefit of each other. At the moment, they’re laughing at Hoseok imitating Namjoon dancing earlier that day. Jeongguk tries not to laugh too much, not because Namjoon kind of looks like he really wants to punch someone in the midst of his smiles, but because he’s not much of a dancer either.

“Man, where’s Taehyung? He should be here,” Jimin blurts out in fits of laughter. “He does it even better.”

Hoseok bursts into another round of fresh laughter and Jeongguk is left to wonder about the mysterious Taehyung he’s been hearing about Jimin for several weeks now. It’s always been Taehyung this and Taehyung that, that Jeongguk really wants to know what’s so special about this new guy, aside from the fact that he’s also a pretty decent dancer. Now Jeongguk knows that this Taehyung is also apparently good at imitating people.”

“He’s around,” Namjoon answers, sighing and shaking his head at the same time, probably knowing that divulging that information will get him in trouble later on. Jeongguk gets the impression that the dance team ganging up on Namjoon is a common occurrence.

“Probably hiding from Seungyeon,” Hoseok says, leaning back on the couch, trying to catch his breath. His closes his eyes as he evens his breathing, a hand on his chest. Seokjin, who’s been quiet all this time beside Hoseok, albeit smiling, reaches out and brushes his hair away from his forehead.

It’s a gesture that has Hoseok looking at Seokjin with something like fondness in his eyes. It makes Namjoon shake his head and take a swig of his beer, makes Jimin, the damn hopeless romantic that he is, giggle and look around with a sigh. Jeongguk, in turn, gets off his comfortable position on the couch to find a drink.

There really are too many people in Hoseok’s two-bedroom apartment. It seems like every inch of space is filled with someone standing, bobbing their heads to the hip hop beat blasting through the mini speakers in the corner, or groups of people clustered together, chatting away, voices loud above the music. He walks around someone asleep on the floor on his way to the bathroom at the end of the hall and trips on the guy’s shoe.

“Hi Jeongguk!"

For a second, Jeongguk thinks it’s Jieun but then the voice is a bit higher pitched than Jieun’s is and takes a deep breath. He turns around and finds the girl who’s been hounding him (which is probably too loose of a term) ever since the track meet last weekend. Yugyeom tells him it’s because he took his shirt off after his win. But really what could Jeongguk have done when his teammates doused him with Coke of all things, Bambam claiming that there was no big bottle of water nearby? Jeongguk smiles, eyeing her dark eye make-up perfectly suiting her light-coloured hair, because there’s no reason to be unkind.

“What’s up?” Jeongguk asks, glancing at the closed bathroom door and praying that it opens to save him.

“I’m Joohyun,” she introduces herself, stepping forward and tucking her hair behind her left ear. It’s a sweet and coy action, one that would have worked if Jeongguk is any way interested. “I’m in two of your electives, Art History and Music Theory."

“Yeah,” he agrees, remembering how she sometimes passed him notes in class. Jeongguk wants to ask how she knows just how many electives he’s taking but decides that he doesn’t need to find out how she memorized his schedule. He glances at the still closed bathroom door, pursing his lips, before turning back to her. “What about it?"

“Nothing really,” Joohyun hurries. “I just—I wanted to ask… There’s this thing next week. My friend, Seulgi, is having a party since it’s her birthday and I was wondering if you’d like to come.” She takes a deep breath, her eyes flicking from the floor to meet Jeongguk’s, her chin jutted out with determination. “As my date."

And there it is. Jeongguk isn’t bragging when he says that not a day goes by that he doesn’t get confessions or gets asked out. He understands that he’s attractive, not that he likes to sound so smug, but then he’s also part of a sports team and he supposes being in one adds to his appeal. It was amusing in the beginning and he had agreed to some dates in the past. But as time went by, he realized that it just wasn’t worth all the time and effort, on his part and the other party’s, when Jeongguk isn’t serious about it anyway. So he stopped accepting confessions and going out at all. But even though he flat-out says no every single time, he still has girls and guys coming up to him to ask him out and even giving him gifts. He doesn’t understand it.

“Joohyun,” Jeongguk starts, wondering how he’s going to let her down easy. She seems like a really nice girl and she’s pretty too. He feels really bad that it’s wasted on him. “I’m going to have to say no. I’m really not into parties,” he hurries to explain when Joohyun opens her mouth to probably counter that. “I’m only here because of Jimin. Really, if it weren’t for him, I wouldn’t even think of coming here."

“So if Jimin comes, would you go?” Joohyun looks hopeful, her hands clasped together, her pink lips slightly tugged up into a small smile. “I mean, I can ask him and then you can still go."

Jeongguk has to give her credit for being persistent and creative. None of the others have used his friends to lure him in yet. This is a first. But maybe that’s because he mentioned Jimin first. He’s going to have to remember to warn Jimin of any party invitations in the upcoming days. Joohyun’s smile grows wider, more hopeful, probably because she can sense him hesitating and reassessing. But then her face falls into a frown and he’s about to ask what’s wrong when Jeongguk feels the arm around his waist before he even registers the new presence beside him. Joohyun’s brows furrow further at this display of affection, obviously not having noticed Jeongguk stiffening.

“I’ve been looking everywhere for you.” His voice is deep and controlled. When Jeongguk turns to look at him, he sees that the guy’s slightly shorter than him, with lilac hair, kohl-rimmed eyes, and a sly smirk on his thin lips. His arm tightens around Jeongguk’s waist, an urge for him to acknowledge him and what he said.

“Sorry,” Jeongguk stammers, his hand coming up to grip the guy’s slightly smaller, slimmer hand. “I didn’t realize I had to tell you that I was going to the bathroom.” He almost rolls his eyes because he knows what this guy is doing. But then he smiles apologetically at him instead and then at Joohyun, who looks more and more confused with each passing minute.

“Are you…?” Joohyun’s question trails off, her head tilted slightly to one side as she shoots Jeongguk a questioning look. All Jeongguk can do is give her a sheepish smile as the stranger proceeds to give him a back hug, his chin resting on Jeongguk’s shoulder, their cheeks pressed together. “But I thought you didn’t…"

Jeongguk really doesn’t go out on dates. He hasn't for a while now anyway. But what else can he say at this point? “Can you keep a secret, Joohyun?” he says the first thing that pops into his head. “We’re actually out on a date tonight. But we really don’t want people to know.” He’s pretty sure this will go out either way. As he sighs, the arm around his waist moves to his front. Jeongguk feels him smile against his cheek.

“We’re sorry you had to find out this way,” the guy adds, his arms tightening around him. Jeongguk has to bite down his lower lip to stop himself from bursting into laughter. “We really didn’t intend for anyone to know."

“So are you dating exclusively or…?” Joohyun prods, her eyes taking in the guy entangling his fingers with Jeongguk’s.

“Well…” Jeongguk hesitates.

“Don’t put him under the spotlight,” the guy lightly admonishes Joohyun, shifting his stance behind him to a more relaxed one. “I don’t want to hear something like rejection before the night is even over."

“So does that mean that you can go out and be my date on Saturday?” Joohyun presses. She’s really quite persistent and Jeongguk has to admire her for that.

Jeongguk unknowingly squeezes the guy’s hand, unsure as to how to answer that. But it seems this guy knows the how to answer everything.

“I actually have him covered,” he tells Joohyun, much to her disappointment. “Sorry.” Jeongguk can feel him grinning beside him and Jeongguk can’t help but chuckle a little.

Joohyun eventually leaves with a huff from her downturned lips. Jeongguk sincerely hopes that she's not going to say anything to anyone because the last thing he needs is for people to think that he's been lying to them all this time and has been actually dating.

"Thanks," Jeongguk mutters when he's finally untangled himself from the mysterious stranger in all black. He sticks his hands in his pockets as he receives a real smile this time.

The stranger just shrugs, brushing his hair back before patting it down again. "You looked like you needed saving," is all he says. "I know how that feels.” He pauses and then backtracks a bit. “I did, right?” he asks, his eyes flashing with something like concern for a second before disappearing into the blank look he’s been sporting.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk agrees and gives him an out, since he’s not entirely sure what he means by knowing how it feels. “Not really into her or dating anyone really."

The guy nods, smile even more genuine, shoving his hand in his pocket and taking his phone out to look at a message. "You gonna be okay?” He looks back at Jeongguk as he returns his phone back in his pocket.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. "Yeah, see you," he says and finally goes into the bathroom.

The whole thing could have gone worse really. Joohyun could have coaxed him into attending her friend's party with her repeatedly and Jeongguk would have given in just so she would leave him alone. And Jeongguk would have hated it. Jimin would hate him too because there’s no way Jeongguk’s going there by himself.

When he goes back to his group of friends, Hoseok and Jimin are still laughing. Seokjin and Namjoon are joining them this time though and Jeongguk guesses that Namjoon isn't the subject of the laughter this time.

"There you are!" Jimin greets, nudging Yoongi, whom Jeongguk just notices is now seated beside him, getting up and slinging an arm around Jeongguk. "Where did you go? Taehyung's here." He steers Jeongguk in the direction of the other couch, where some other guys from the dance team where. Jackson, Jaebum... and the stranger from earlier. "Yah Kim Taehyung! This is Jeongguk, my best friend." Jimin beams.

The guy—Taehyung—raises his eyebrows in apparent surprise the moment he lays eyes on Jeongguk. It makes Jeongguk want to pat his hair down or something, which is ridiculous because Jeongguk isn’t the type to care about his looks. In fact, he doesn’t even really care about what other people think of him. He's used to being called ‘cold' or even ‘rude' because he doesn’t even really bother with what other people say or even bother at all when people talk to him.

Jimin coming along was the first time Jeongguk really knew about friendship. Sure, he'd had his brother, who was nice and was patient with him. But until Jimin came along, Jeongguk never really had people truly patient enough to coax him out of his shell and listen to him and then actually be genuinely interested with whatever he had to say. Then when Jieun sat down beside them during lunch on the first day of high school even though Jeongguk didn’t speak a word to her the whole time because he was too busy listening to music, Jeongguk knew she was a keeper. They’re really all the people Jeongguk needs in his life, the ones whose opinions matter to him. So for Taehyung, a stranger, to make him feel even the littlest bit concerned is a bit strange.

“So you’re Jeongguk,” Taehyung says, having the courtesy to get up from the couch and shake his hand. The smile from earlier is back on his lips. Jeongguk wonders if Taehyung smiles at everything.

“And you’re Taehyung,” Jeongguk returns, his eyes flicking from the two black studs on Taehyung’s earlobes that glint under the lights. Taehyung’s grip is so firm that Jeongguk returns the handshake with the same steadiness. “You’re the guy Jimin’s been going on and on about,” he adds, smiling a little as Jimin chuckles beside him.

“I could say the same about you,” Taehyung acknowledges, dropping Jeongguk’s hand and sits back down. He tilts his head to the empty space beside him and Jeongguk looks at Jimin, who just shrugs and makes his way back to sit beside Yoongi, which shouldn’t be surprising. “So earlier…” he starts once Jeongguk settles in beside him. He keeps his voice low and Jeongguk immediately know what he means.

“Don’t worry about it,” Jeongguk assures him with a shrug. “Jimin would probably have a fit if he found out.” Jimin would make an incredibly big fuss about it. Jeongguk doesn’t really know what Taehyung is like, but Jimin knows very well what Jeongguk is like and what happened earlier would cause something like an uproar. Jimin always goes on and on about Jeongguk being careful about not hurting anyone’s feelings.

“To be fair, since you unwillingly shared earlier and all,” Taehyung responds, wiggling into the seat until he’s properly leaning back. His eyes are on Jeongguk, though, so Jeongguk looks back at him. “I’m not really into dating either so, you know, I meant it when I said that I know how it feels.” Taehyung averts his gaze when he says this, choosing to play with the black ring on his left pinky finger, and Jeongguk tries not to think about what could have caused this. It can’t have been pretty.

“Well I’m glad,” Jeongguk interrupts Taehyung’s thoughts, which seem to be deep, judging by the now faraway look in his eyes when he’s supposedly just looking at his ring. Taehyung jerks and meets his gaze, brows furrowed slightly. “You’re one less person to explain myself to.” He smiles and grabs two beers from the table, handing one to Taehyung. “Cheers."

There are some benefits to going to parties. If it gets Jeongguk to meet people like Taehyung, people who don’t question things and just take them for what they are, why not?










"Eight reps of 800 meters with two minute intervals," their coach says as soon as they're all gathered.

The members of the team groans, showing their displeasure at the slightly tough set of training for the afternoon. Jeongguk just continues stretching, ignoring the way Bambam is pouting and the way Yugyeom is comforting him with an arm around his waist. Minho is already walking to the starting line with Youngjae and Jinyoung following after him and Jeongguk has to smile at how competitive Minho is. Even during practice, Minho makes sure to match or beat the times that he makes during competitions.

"Do you want to do it with one minute intervals then?" Their coach raises his eyebrows at them, arms crossed on his chest with his clipboard.

"Coach, we were just kidding," Bambam says, trying to appease him. “You know how much we love your drills.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down.

"Well then," coach says, pointing at the starting line. "Get on with it." He walks back to the bleachers and takes a seat, going through his clipboard again. He’s probably already thinking about the the first meet and how many runners he’s going to need from tryouts.

“You’re taking an awful lot of time stretching today,” Joonmyun tells Jeongguk, coming up beside him and crouching down to join him in stretching. “You okay?"

Joonmyun, a senior and team captain, is always doing things like this. He’s the type to make sure that each member of the team is happy because he believes that if they’re happy individually, the team will function better as a whole. He isn’t wrong, but it still makes Jeongguk uncomfortable whenever they have these moments, because it always feels like he can’t hide anything from Joonmyun.

“I’m fine,” Jeongguk assures their team captain as much as he can without looking at him. He gets off the ground and stands up, stretching his arms above his head.

“You only stretch for a longer time when you’re planning to run longer,” Joonmyun points out, standing up as well. He glances at the stands and Jeongguk really hopes he’s not going to point out what he thinks Joonmyun’s going to point out. “You seem to have a lot more fans today,” he says, chuckling as the several girls start cheering Jeongguk on.

Jeongguk lets out a breath as they walk to the starting line. Minho is already halfway across the track, followed by Yugyeom, Youngjae, and Jinyoung. Bambam is trailing a little bit further. Jeongguk is not entirely sure what has happened in the two weeks that have passed since the party, but something seems to have gotten lost in translation.

For some reason, he thought that he’d get close to zero confessions and date invites after what happened at the party. Jeongguk felt like he and Taehyung had been convincing enough that Joohyun wouldn’t be able to help herself and share it with other people anyway. And she did share. People definitely know because he’s been asked about who that guy was at the party and what was so special about him. Why he still gets people watching him during practice is beyond him. Shouldn’t he get less because people now know he’s dating someone?

“Let’s just run,” Jeongguk says. Because running is his solution to everything. It’s an effective solution too. Running doesn’t require any other thoughts, except of reaching a goal that he has for himself. It’s quite selfish, but Jeongguk has grown tired of thinking about what other people think.

The bleachers don’t empty until close to eight o’clock in the evening, way past the time when the his teammates have left the track. Bambam, Yugyeom, and even Joonmyun had lingered behind for a while, sitting on the grass in the middle of the track and just chatting with each other, until they too left since it was getting too late. Jeongguk doesn’t mind. He likes being by himself.

Jeongguk doesn’t rush in the shower, hoping that the warm water will wash away all of the stress he's been feeling for the past few days. Schoolwork has been piling up, although he expected that. Training is picking up too, which is also expected because competition season is starting soon. But then something else seems to be wrong. He hasn't seen Jieun in a while, not since he walked out of her room. It's not normally something he worries about. Jimin and Jieun each have their own lives and other friends whom Jeongguk don't know. But things just feel strained between them ever since and it doesn't help that Jieun seems to have dodged all his subtle attempts to see her. It's a good thing Jimin hasn't noticed anything. It would just make the whole thing worse.

"You really took your time in there, did you?"

Jeongguk's heart almost seizes in his chest when he sees Jieun push herself off the wall. He blinks at her, not entirely sure that she's actually there. She almost seems like a vision since it feels like a long time since they last talked.

"Hey," Jeongguk says, running a hand through his hair before patting it back down. "You could've told me you were coming."

Jieun chuckles as she falls into step with him, the skirt of her blue dress swishing against his shorts. "It wouldn't be a surprise if I told you," she says, peering at him with a soft smile that he knows is her way of showing him aegyo. Jimin completely melts with it. Jeongguk, meanwhile, always pretends it doesn't affect him. "Did you miss me?" She flutters her lashes this time, a pout on her lips, and man, she's really pulling out all the stops.

"Where have you been?" Jeongguk rolls his eyes and wraps an arm around her shoulders. He decides that's enough of an answer to her question. She seems okay with it if the way she hums happily is any indication.

"Around," Jieun answers. "I had this huge paper to finish and I knew I wouldn't be able to do it if I saw your faces."

The knowledge that she hasn't been meeting up with Jimin as well eases the knot in his chest that's been tightening for the past couple of days. Jeongguk taps her arm and hums. This is why he didn't need to worry. Jieun disappears on them all the time and it usually just means she's too busy. He never needed to read into it.

"So," Jieun starts, reaching up to hold Jeongguk's hand that's on her shoulder. "What's this I've been hearing about you going out with some guy?" Jeongguk groans because if Jieun, who doesn't listen to or care about gossip, has heard it, it literally means everyone knows. "I asked Jimin about it and he doesn't know what's going on, although he did say he heard about it."

"We don't see each other for two weeks and that's the first thing you ask me?" Jeongguk complains. He lifts his arm away from her and pushes her away in a playful manner that doesn't send her sprawling to the ground. "Really?"

Jieun laughs and just wraps her arms around his, pulling him back to her side. "Really," she answers, sounding serious with a hint of amusement. "It's literally all I've been hearing about," she shares. "Jiyeon and Sunyoung kept on asking me about it too."

Jeongguk scrunches his nose as he sighs. "He's just some guy I met," he vaguely answers, remembering the way Taehyung appeared out of nowhere and pretended they were going out. "It's really not a big deal."

"You mean it's not a whirlwind romance where you were swept off your feet and have now found the one to make you swear off singledom?" Jieun asks with a hand on her chest, her voice breathless and dramatic.

"I'm not really one to get sucked in into a whirlwind romance," Jeongguk snickers. The rumor mill really amazes him sometimes. It's completely ridiculous what people come up with just because they're too afraid to go to the source and ask. "I'm not even one for romance," he adds. "You know me."

"I really do," Jieun says and her voice is quiet, her hold on his arm loosening before she completely lets go.

"Let's stop talking about my nonexistent love life," Jeongguk announces, knowing that Jieun will drop it. "You staying for dinner?"

"What are you talking about?" Jieun scoffs. "You're sleeping on the couch tonight. I'm sleeping over."

Jeongguk laughs and slips his arm back around Jieun. If this means that things are really okay, he'll take it.










When Jeongguk was a kid, he wanted a lot of things. No, Jeongguk wanted everything. He wanted a big house with a swimming pool, his own room colored red, black and white, an Xbox that he can play with his friends, those new Nikes, and many other things. As he grew older, Jeongguk's wants changed. From wanting material things, he started wanting more of the less material ones. He wanted people to talk to and listen to him, wanted his brother to explain things like relationships and talk to him about it, wanted his parents to be home more often, for his parents to stop fighting so much when they're home... He got almost everything he dreamed about. But looking back now, Jeongguk wishes that the ones that he were able to get were the ones that actually mattered.

He hasn’t really wanted anything much after he moved out of his family’s home for university. After so many heartaches and heartbreaks, Jeongguk has learned that wanting things leads to getting hopes up and exceeding expectations breeds crushing disappointment. Now all he really wants is to live simply and live with whatever he already has.

And that includes being left alone with regards to his (non-existent) love life.

There’s a slap on his arm and whatever his next line of thought was going to be is forgotten. Jimin is staring at him, his eyebrows raised and lips pressed together into a tight line. It’s quite clear that he’s not very pleased with Jeongguk spacing out on him. Again. Especially when they’re in the middle of a discussion about what to do for their paper for which they’re partnered for.

“Sorry, I promise I was listening,” Jeongguk says at once, the words tumbling out one after the other in their typical jumbled fashion when he’s lying and trying to make amends. Jimin just sighs at him. “Well, I heard most of what you said.” He pouts a little at him and he just shakes his head at him.

“I know this isn’t as exciting as running, Jeongguk,” Jimin starts, running a hand through his hair. “But you’re going to have to pay attention because this counts for a lot of our grade and I’m not going to write this paper by myself.” He gives him a pointed look and Jeongguk is almost offended. Almost, because Jimin very well knows how much he takes his studies seriously.

“This is exciting,” Jeongguk interjects, probably all too late, even though he means it. He has been looking forward to writing this paper ever since it was mentioned at the start of the term. He’d even made sure almost immediately that Jimin was going to do it with him because, aside from being his best friend, he knew he could count on him to do actual work alongside his. “There are just too many things—they’re not an excuse. I don’t have an excuse,” he amends. “I’m sorry. I’m listening."

Jimin closes the notebook in front of him and folds his arms on top of the table. “What is it?” he asks. The irritated look on his face is gone, replaced by concern, which Jeongguk really hates putting on his face. “You’ve been really out of it this week,” Jimin continues. “Is everything okay?"

Jeongguk bites the inside of his lower lip, actually considering telling him. Whom else could he tell? Jieun? She’d already dropped the subject when he subtly willed her to. He can’t possibly bring it up with her again. There’s really no one else to talk to about stuff like this. Besides, he’s pretty sure Jimin will understand.

“My mom called yesterday,” Jeongguk starts, pausing for a bit just to watch Jimin’s face. He just sits there and waits for him to continue. Jeongguk lets out a breath. “She called, which is normal, since we talk practically every week. But this call was different. She didn’t greet me with her overly cheerful hello. She just straight up asked me why I haven’t introduced my ex to her before we broke up.”

Jeongguk picks at the inner seam of his jeans where a loose thread is hanging. He’d never felt so taken aback in his life. It was one thing to find out that he even had an ex to dump. But more importantly, how it had come to his mother’s attention at all and how that rumour had spurned a ton of other questions. Of all the times this conversation could come up, Jeongguk never expected it to be one with a member of his family, even more his mother. She's always known how much Jeongguk values his privacy and has watched him grow up dating here and there but never really dating, and he thought his mother understood that. But Jeongguk’s older brother had just gotten married too. Jeongguk should have expected this conversation to happen sooner or later. He suspects that his mother has wanted to bring this up for a while, except Jeongguk never really comes to visit and she just hasn’t had the chance to talk to him about it in person. And now there’s this and she just can’t wait any longer.

“Ex?” Jimin’s eyebrows look like they’re about to disappear under his bangs. “You’ve been going out with someone? Was it that guy? I thought that was—"

Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “You know I’m not,” he interrupts him. He tilts his head, urging him to continue. “You know Seulgi, right?” he asks and Jimin nods. “Well, she told her mom that her best friend Joohyun got dumped at a party.” Realization floods Jimin’s eyes and he shakes her head, placing a palm on his cheek, leaning on it. “Guess who Seulgi’s mom is friends with?” he finishes with a sigh.

“Wow,” Jimin finally says after a few moments of silence. “So it seems like Joohyun was your ex-girlfriend.” He covers his laughter with his hand.

“Jiminie, it’s not funny,” Jeongguk says, words almost coming out as a whine. “And now that I’ve cleared things up with her, my mom keeps telling me that I should be dating, that she’s going to set me up on dates.” He groans at the thought.

“It kind of is funny," Jimin insists. “I mean, really, this whole thing has gotten so out of control, you’re going to have to do something about it."

“Like what?” Jeongguk stares at his books on the table and wonders why this is such a big deal. “I don’t get why it’s so important for people to want to see me with someone,” he muses, sounding disgruntled. He makes a face when Jimin chuckles. “I mean, don’t they all have their own love lives to bother with?"

“The thing is, Jeongguk,” Jimin says, pressing his lips together as he tries very hard not to continue laughing and reaching out to touch his arm. “All those people, at least the ones in this university, are thinking about their love lives.” Jeongguk raises an eyebrow at his in question. “They all want you, Jeon Jeongguk, seemingly this university’s most eligible bachelor, to be a part of it."

“That’s insane,” Jeongguk grumbles. He figured that’s what’s going on. But it doesn’t make it any less ridiculous hearing it out loud. “How many times do I have to tell people that I am not interested in dating? Sure I’ve gone out with a few people during freshman year, but I haven’t dated anyone in two years."

“Yes, exactly,” Jimin interjects, sucking on his lower lip just so he wouldn’t burst into another round of laughter that he knows Jeongguk won’t appreciate. "You been rejecting every proposal and confession for two years and then all of a sudden you quote-unquote get caught being out on a date with some guy no one even knows and one you still haven’t told me about." He leans back on her seat. "So now, everyone thinks," he goes on, gasping with a flourish and a hand on his chest, "he's dating again, I must go try my luck out even more."

Jeongguk buries his face on his arms, landing face down on the stone table. All around them in the courtyard people probably weren't paying attention, but he doesn't really want anyone to witness his embarrassment. If he'd known that's what people are going to think, he wouldn't have done it. Joohyun's feelings would've probably gotten more hurt because there's no way he would've have gone to that party as her date.

Jeongguk lifts his head up and looks at Jimin, who's been watching him with amusement. "I was in a tight spot," he defends himself. "It seemed like the best thing to do at the time." Besides, it wasn't entirely his fault. Taehyung had come out of nowhere and had created a story for him without asking Jeongguk if it was okay. Granted, there was no time to discuss, but Jeongguk wouldn't have thought of doing that without someone else’s help.

“I might have a solution to your dilemma,” Jimin starts and Jeongguk sits up straight, looking at him expectantly. “It can be quite tricky, though."

“I’m listening,” Jeongguk says anyway.

But before Jimin can say anything else, two arms wrap around Jeongguk’s neck. Jeongguk looks up and finds Jieun grinning down at him.

“Looks like you guys were having a serious conversation,” Jieun adds, leaning her chin against Jeongguk’s head.

“Just school stuff,” Jimin says before Jeongguk can even open his mouth.

Jeongguk gives Jimin a grateful smile, to which he rolls his eyes at. “We have a paper to write together,” Jeongguk tells her, reaching up to hold her hands in his. “What are you doing here?” he then asks.

Jeongguk looks up to meet Jieun’s eyes in question. She, in turn, leans forward to meet his eyes better. “I surprisingly have no homework today,” she tells them with pride. “And I know you don’t have track today so I was wondering if you wanted to hang out.” She wiggles her eyebrows up and down. “We could come back to my dorm and just watch some movies or something."

Jeongguk swallows, hoping that his discomfort at the offer doesn’t show. Ever since that night, he told himself he wouldn’t hang out with her alone, especially if there’s any possibility it could lead them to compromising situations, yet again. He doesn’t want to put her in that position any more than he doesn’t want anything to ruin their friendship. Jeongguk hates to lie, but in this case, he really has to.

“I can’t,” Jeongguk sighs, tugging at Jieun’s hands in apology when she furrows her brows and pouts. “Jimin and I still have to do the outline and actually get started on this paper.” He looks to Jimin for backup and confirmation.

“Yeah,” Jimin says, not missing a beat. “I’m thinking of missing dance practice for this. We were actually just getting started.” He gives Jieun a sheepish smile. “Sorry, this is my fault,” he adds.

Jieun sighs, pulling her arms off Jeongguk. “It sucks that our schedules never match these days,” she says with a shrug. “Oh well.” She pulls her bag higher on her shoulder. “I’ll see you losers tomorrow then,” she says and then waves at Jimin. “Please make sure that Jeongguk actually does his share of the work."

“I will,” Jimin chuckles.

When Jeongguk looks away from Jieun’s retreating back, he catches Jimin giving him a curious look. “What?” he blurts out, cheeks heating up from the scrutiny.

Jimin looks like there’s something he wants to say, but instead comes out with, “You know I’m not skipping dance practice for this, right?” Jeongguk nods, smiling sheepishly. "I better get going too. Namjoon’s going to kick me if I’m late again.”

“I’ll just finish the outline and—,” Jeongguk starts.

He looks past Jimin and sees a familiar figure, gesturing wildly at some guy who keeps trying to catch the hand being waved in front of him. Jeongguk isn’t sure how he knows it’s Taehyung, whose hair has gone from lilac to a silvery, greyish one. It’s not like they’ve seen each other on campus after meeting each other. Maybe it’s the broad shoulders or the way the hair is styled (or unstyled). Either way, Jeongguk is pretty sure it’s him.

“Everything okay?” Jimin asks, following Jeongguk’s gaze. “Hey, isn’t that Taehyung?"

Jeongguk doesn’t respond, too busy watching Taehyung take a step back and another, clearly not wanting to be touched by the other guy. Taehyung turns a little and Jeongguk can see the strained smile on his face. The other guy is tall, well-built, handsome, and he clearly is coaxing Taehyung into something that Taehyung clearly doesn’t want.

When the guy grabs Taehyung’s hand and Taehyung struggles to take it back, Jeongguk gets up from his seat and hurries over before he gets the chance to think things through.

Taehyung has his hands clasped behind his back when he gets there and Jeongguk doesn’t even hesitate before taking one of those hands in his. Taehyung jumps when he does but Jeongguk tugs at his cold hand and squeezes, hoping that Taehyung would relax and maybe feel better. This guy is clearly making him uncomfortable.

“Is everything okay?” Jeongguk asks, leaning closer to Taehyung. Jeongguk then turns to him, his lips on Taehyung's ear and whispers, loud enough that the guy would hear, “Sorry it took me so long to get here."

“It’s okay. You’re here now,” Taehyung returns, his hand so tight around Jeongguk’s that Jeongguk feels it getting numb. “Sanghyuk just came to ask a question and was just leaving. Weren’t you, Sanghyuk? Jeongguk is already here. He’ll walk me to my apartment.” The relief on Taehyung’s voice is palpable.

“He’s going to be fine,” Jeongguk adds. Taehyung squeezes Jeongguk’s hand and Jeongguk squeezes back.

Sanghyuk’s eyes narrow at their clasped hands then at Jeongguk. Jeongguk holds his breath, hoping that Sanghyuk won’t do anything like punch him and pick a fight. He’s not sure who Sanghyuk is to Taehyung, but Sanghyuk is much taller and definitely looks like he’d crush Jeongguk if it came to that. For all Jeongguk knows, they could have been in a lover’s spat and Jeongguk crashed it, becoming a third party. He really hopes that’s not the case.

“Okay then,” Sanghyuk says, taking several steps back with his hands up in some sort of surrender. He then gestures for Jeongguk and Taehyung to feel free to leave.

Taehyung doesn’t even give Jeongguk a chance to react and just pulls Jeongguk away from there. Jeongguk, however, steers Taehyung back to the table.

“We can’t stay,” Taehyung quips as they walk back to Jeongguk’s things. “You don’t have to walk me home. Just walk with me to where the dance team practices. At least Sanghyuk will see us together. Hoseok and the others will be with me going back."

“Don’t be ridiculous. If you want to stop by dance practice, that’s fine. But I’ll walk you to your place anyway,” he says, rejecting his idea. "Just let me just go get my things.” Jeongguk’s not entirely sure why he’s doing this, going the extra mile, when he’s already returned the favor. But Taehyung looks shaken enough that Jeongguk doesn’t even bother wondering why he’s doing these things for this person who is still mostly a stranger. “Who was that guy?"

“He’s in one of my classes,” Taehyung shares, leaning against Jeongguk a little bit. “He’s been asking me out but he hasn’t been that persistent before.” He shudders and Jeongguk lets go of Taehyung's hand so he can put his arm around him instead. “I could have handled it,” Taehyung then tells him and Jeongguk opens his mouth to explain his actions. “But thank you,” Taehyung continues, giving him a small but grateful smile.

Jeongguk’s ears feel hot at the earnestness in Taehyung’s voice. “Don’t mention it.”

“Everything okay?” Jimin asks when they get back. “What happened?"

Jeongguk drops his arm off from around Taehyung as Taehyung starts explaining about Sanghyuk, about how he’d been pestering Taehyung for a while now. Jeongguk had forgotten about Jimin that entire time, forgot that Jimin was watching. Jimin raises his eyebrows at Jeongguk as Taehyung’s explanation comes to a finish, but Jeongguk focuses on getting his things inside his bag and he doesn’t look back.

“So Jeongguk came over and pretended that, what, you two were going out?” Jimin clarifies, looking from Jeongguk to Taehyung and back again. There’s something questioning in Jimin’s gaze when Jeongguk finally looks at him and Jeongguk sighs.

“Taehyung did the same for me back at the party,” Jeongguk finally tells Jimin. Taehyung shifts beside him, his eyes wide with surprise. Jeongguk didn’t really bother explaining to his friends about what happened, didn’t even bother telling them that it was Taehyung, even when they asked. “That’s how the rumour started.”

“So the guy you’re rumoured to be dating is Taehyung? The reason why everyone’s going crazy is because they think you two are dating?” Jimin repeats, bursting into laughter. He turns to Jeongguk. “Why didn’t you tell me it was Taehyung?” He then turns to Taehyung. “Why didn’t you tell me it was you? The dance team has been nagging me about it. Even Jieun has been curious. Who is the guy Jeon Jeongguk is dating?” he goes on.

Jeongguk shrugs. “We didn’t think it was important,” he shares, glancing at Taehyung, who’s smiling at the way Jimin is so amused by the whole thing. “I mean, we decided not to talk about it or tell anyone right after we’d met and realized we had the same friends."

“Except, you know, that girl told everyone,” Taehyung joins in, grinning. Jeongguk sighs beside him and Taehyung nudges him a little, maybe to offer a little comfort or consolation.

“And just now with Sanghyuk… what was that?” Jimin wants to know. He’s leaning back on his seat, watching Jeongguk so closely that Jeongguk is afraid to know what Jimin is thinking.

“That’s Jeongguk returning the favour,” Taehyung says, putting an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders and squeezing a little. “Don’t be pushy, Jimin. Jeongguk was being a friend. Sanghyuk looked like he was going to drag me back to the apartment.” He grins at Jeongguk, who returns it with a weak smile. “Maybe now he’ll actually leave me alone."

“I’m not being pushy,” Jimin defends himself, holding his hands up. He gets up and picks up his bag. “So are you taking him to dance practice then?” he asks Jeongguk, who blinks at Jimin, a little bit surprised at how light he is taking all of this despite the twenty questions. “That guy is still standing there."

There’s something in Jimin's gaze that tells Jeongguk he’s going to have to explain further later on, but he pushes that out of his head as Taehyung holds his hand when they start walking towards the gym.










It’s the perfect day for running. The sun’s rays and heat isn’t too harsh, warm enough to help with the sweat, but not so hot that it would aid in their exhaustion. The wind is also especially cool that day—it usually is cool enough in the afternoons when they practice, but today has been pretty windy. It would make running extra fun, although strong winds aren’t all that ideal for running but Jeongguk doesn’t really care. He’s been itching to put on his running shoes all day.

He’d gotten another call from his mother that morning. She told him to take Joohyun out for one date, just for him to apologize properly. It makes absolutely no sense for him to do that and also makes the whole thing with Taehyung dumb and useless. Jeongguk told his mother that rejection comes everyday in life and that Joohyun would get over it. But then his mother insisted and Jeongguk just couldn’t say no. Now, he has to go and find Joohyun and actually talk to her and take her out. To apologize. He has the urge to yell because it’s just stupid and he’s going to end up doing it anyway.

“Okay, those who are here for the tryouts, stand on my left,” the coach announces, gesturing to his left. “And the team to my right. I’ll oversee the tryouts, while Joonmyun will take over the time trials.” He waves to those trying out to follow after him, walking on the other side of the track, crossing the grass in the middle of the oval.

Jeongguk stands at the back of the group, just behind Youngjae, who’s carefully eyeing the guys who are trying out. Youngjae is probably nervous about his ranking, which doesn’t really matter because he’s already on the team no matter what. All those on the team really have to do is work on improving their times. Thinking about the time trials, Jeongguk almost groans out loud because they’re all going to have to do sprints, even the long distance runners. He’s really not a fan of sprints. He’s not used to the different pacing; his breathing always getting heavy too fast and, even so, the whole thing is over too quickly. It almost feels like running and then giving up when he's not even halfway done.

Jeongguk does his best anyway. He’s really not one to half-ass anything just because he doesn’t like it. Running is running and no matter what form it is, he’s always going to want to do it. His chest burns with each sprint that his does, his feet and legs pushing harder with each one he starts. The burn reminds him of the first few times he’s started running, angry, naive, and feeling like the weight of the world was on his shoulders.

He walks in circles to cool down after he’s done with all his sprints, which, judging by the look on Joonmyun’s face, have all improved.

“Good job,” Joonmyun comments, looking up from the clipboard where he’s writing down the times. “You okay to do endurance in a bit? We’re only timing for the three kilometer run."

“Sure,” Jeongguk says, laying down on the grass for a bit and closing his eyes. He doesn’t even bother watching the tryouts like the others are doing. Not a lot of talking is necessary to be on the team anyway so he doesn’t really bother making friends. Sure he talks to his teammates, especially Joonmyun, Bambam and Yugyeom, but that’s because they’re the type of people who cling. Also Joonmyun is team captain. There is no way Jeongguk can’t talk to him. Minho, too, since he’s vice-captain. But running is a solo sport. It’s one of the things he loves most about it.

“So this is what you do."

Jeongguk opens his eyes and squints, trying to see through the sunlight. Something blocks the sunlight and he blinks several times to make sure he’s seeing right. There’s a Taehyung-shaped head, hair tied up with a rubber band, sprouting up like a fountain and it’s looking down at him with a big grin on its face.

Jeongguk blinks several more times before he asks, “What are you doing here?"

“I saw that the track team was having tryouts and decided to check it out,” Taehyung explains, leaning back on his arms, legs stretched out in front of him, as Jeongguk sits up. He looks around and grins happily, his lips shaping like a rectangular box. “Looks fun,” he says, wiggling a little.

Jeongguk eyes the way Taehyung’s shiny, now blond, fountain hair wiggles on top of his head along with the rest of him. “What’s your major? Can you handle joining two teams?” he asks, watching as Taehyung lifts his face, dotted with a bit of perspiration, up to the sky. His eyes are closed, looking like he’s enjoying the cool breeze and the sunlight on his face.

“Biology,” Taehyung answers, blinking his eyes open and looking at Jeongguk, who immediately drags his eyes away from the mole under the tip of Taehyung’s nose. “What does it matter? What are you talking about?"

“Isn’t being on the dance team exhausting enough? How are you going to manage practicing for both that and track?” Jeongguk asks, swallowing before looking back at Taehyung. He’s staring at Jeongguk with a patient expression, eyebrows lifting slightly at his question.

“I’m not on the dance team, though?” Taehyung tells him, much to Jeongguk’s surprise.

“Yes, you are,” Jeongguk insists, leaning forward and resting his arms on his knees. Taehyung chuckles. “You go to dance practice. I even walked you there the last time. You also hang out with the dance team a lot.” He flushes a little at the memory of the last time they saw each other, Taehyung holding his hand like his life depended on it. When he looks at Taehyung again, Jeongguk is interested to find a tinge of pink to Taehyung’s cheeks.

Jeongguk didn’t end up walking Taehyung back to his apartment. Taehyung had insisted that he was fine and that Sanghyuk seeing them walk together, holding hands, to dance practice was enough of a show. For some reason, Jeongguk was worried that Sanghyuk would corner him again afterwards, but Taehyung assured him that Jimin and the others would be with him.

“I’m not on the dance team,” Taeyung repeats, chuckling so much that his eyes turn into two half moons. “I just dance with them and hang out with them.” He shrugs when Jeongguk gapes at him. “I’ve known Jimin for a while too. He’s the one who introduced me to everyone when I got here."

“So you’re trying out for the track team?” Jeongguk asks, confused at why Taehyung would attend dance practices when he’s not on the team. Like, why would anyone do that? Why doesn’t he just join the team if he enjoys dancing and likes dancing with them anyway?

“It could be fun,” Taehyung says, turning to watch some members of the team go on their time trials, "and convenient."

Jeongguk raises an eyebrow. “How so?"

“I’ll explain later.” Taehyung winks at him before getting up and jogging to join the rest of the guys trying out.

Jeongguk doesn’t get the time to analyze what Taehyung could possibly mean because Joonmyun is calling him for his three kilometer time trial. He dusts his shorts off as he walks to the starting line, doing a little bit of stretching when he gets there, and ignores how their coach leads the guys trying out to the middle of the oval to watch. Jeongguk does not look when Taehyung yells out a cheer just before Joonmyun tells him to go whenever he’s ready.

This is the kind of running that he’s gotten used to. Before he even thought of joining any track team, he was already running distances like this and it had been because of things that had nothing to do with exercise. It was only when Jimin brought up trying out for the team in high school that Jeongguk ever thought of putting this skill into any sort of use.

He gets into some sort of zone when he goes to run. His mind clears and the only thought that remains is that he should go as fast and as far as he can until all he can hear is the whistling of the breeze in his ears and feel the wind in his hair. Jeongguk doesn’t even register the slight burn in his chest or how his muscles ache a bit afterwards. What matters to him is that he got to run and made it.

The cheering after his time trial is loud and absurd. The way people are clapping, one would think he won the gold medal. But it’s just time trials and Jeongguk is beyond embarrassed, especially with the way the team is cheering and laughing along. Jeongguk walks to the grass in the middle of the oval, accepting the bottle of water that Bambam hands him, and glances at the stopwatch that Joonmyun is showing him.

“You never disappoint,” Joonmyun comments with a smile. He then glances at the stands. “It seems your fans aren’t disappointed too.”

“Stop,” Jeongguk groans, turning to glare at Bambam and Yugyeom who are still cheering and clapping like a pair of hyenas. He ignores the rest of the team and the guys trying out as he makes his way to the locker rooms.

Someone catches up to him and slings an arm around his neck. “You shouldn’t be hard on them,” Taehyung comments with a light chuckle. “You were really fast and amazing. And something that amazing should be known and cheered on."

“It was a time trial,” Jeongguk mutters, taking several more gulps of water. “Not the Olympics."

“So are you saying only the guys at the Olympics deserve recognition?” Taehyung returns. His arm moves a little lower, his fingertips grazing the skin below Jeongguk’s sleeve. Jeongguk pretends to stretch his neck so that Taehyung moves his hand back to his shoulder, on top of his shirt. “Just because someone is not on the world stage, doesn’t mean that they don’t work hard. Just like how not all movies are the best stories to be told. There are some stories and people far more interesting than the ones in films sometimes."

Jeongguk turns to him, eyebrows raised. Taehyung returns his gaze, eyes turning into half moons as he laughs. He still has his hair up in that silly fountain style and there are beads of sweat lining his forehead, but Jeongguk almost thinks that he’s never seen anyone so happy and carefree before. It is almost beautiful. Almost, because Jeongguk doesn’t think of things like that with people he barely knows. He doesn’t even call Jimin beautiful and that guy is probably one of the best people to be described as such.

“I don’t know how you went from the Olympics to that, but okay,” Jeongguk says.

“You don’t always see the important things,” Taehyung tries to summarize it. “What’s essential is invisible to the eye."

“You nerd,” Jeongguk mutters, shoving Taehyung a little so that Taehyung can get off Jeongguk. It was too hot because Taehyung is too warm. But instead of that happening, Taehyung clings to Jeongguk, wrapping both arms around him so that he doesn’t fall.

“I’m not a nerd,” Taehyung retorts, a pout forming on his lips. Jeongguk rolls his eyes and just sighs. “Everyone knows The Little Prince."

“Anyone who quotes books in the middle of conversations is a nerd,” Jeongguk counters, making a face at Taehyung, which, weirdly enough, makes him laugh. Jieun would have just rolled her eyes at him, while Jimin would smack the back of his head. Jimin always tells him that he can be quite rude, but he supposes that he hasn’t been rude enough to Taehyung yet. “So how were your tryouts?"

“I think your coach likes me,” is Taehyung’s mysterious response. “Seems like a pretty good sign that I’ll get in.” He changes the subject before Jeongguk can even say something like congratulations. “So, you think you can spare a few minutes of your busy schedule and get something to eat with me? There’s something I want to ask you."

“I suppose I can make time,” Jeongguk hesitates. It sounds almost ominous the way he asks, but Jeongguk shrugs it off but what can be so wrong about what Taehyung’s going to ask him? “After this?” he asks just as they reach the stands. Taehyung nods.

They were just about to duck into the locker room when Joohyun comes out of nowhere and blocks their way. She’s wearing less make up today, but still looking very pretty with her hair pulled into a loose ponytail. Her eyes move from Jeongguk to Taehyung and to the way Taehyung’s arms are around Jeongguk’s shoulders.

“Joohyun,” Jeongguk blurts out, surprised to see her so soon. He remembers his mother’s phone call and resolves to just be an obedient son. “I was going to come find you so I could talk to you."

“You were?” Joohyun asks, taking a step back, clearly surprised. She glances at Taehyung, who just smiles at her, before looking back at Jeongguk. “Why?"

It takes all of Jeongguk not to say that it’s because of his mother. Instead, he tacks on a smile. “I was going to ask if you wanted to have lunch with me or something,” he says. Lunch seems less date-y than dinner. “To apologize for what happened during the party. I should have been less rude,” he explains just as Taehyung’s arm drops from his shoulders.

Joohyun follows the movement with her eyes, her lips pursing almost imperceptibly. “But you’re with him, right?” she asks, gesturing hesitantly towards Taehyung.

“I… well…” Jeongguk stammers, not sure how to proceed.

“So it’s true? You guys are together?” Joohyun presses, crossing her arms on her chest. “Because I’m not going out to lunch with a guy who’s with someone, even if it’s for an apology.” Her hair covers her eyes a little as the wind blows and Jeongguk finds some sort of relief when the sadness in her eyes is hidden away.

Jeongguk isn’t ready for an answer because saying yes sounds so definite, and even that kind of fake commitment terrifies him. Luckily, it’s Taehyung who speaks up.

“Is there a problem with that?” Taehyung asks and it’s vague enough that he could mean anything by it. It could be referring to her last statement.

“Well, no,” Joohyun immediately responds, but she looks like there are more things she wants to say. Jeongguk can sense it in the way she shifts in her stance and how she looks back and forth between him and Taehyung. She seems to make up her mind when she focuses her gaze on Jeongguk. “Why him?” she then decides.

It’s a loaded question and Jeongguk is reminded of the conversation he had with Jimin. After two years, Jeon Jeongguk has finally decided to date, and it’s this guy. What is so special about him? Jeongguk looks at Taehyung, who just looks back at him, and Jeongguk can kind of guess where this is going.

“Why not?” Jeongguk says with a shrug.










“You alright?” Taehyung nudges Jeongguk’s arm lightly as they wait for their food in one of the corner tables of a quaint Chinese restaurant outside of university. “You look kind of bad for someone who’s just revealed that he’s dating a really hot guy. It’s not that bad having me as a boyfriend, right?” he teases.

Jeongguk snorts and shakes his head. “You are not my boyfriend,” he states. It comes out harsher than he means to but Taehyung doesn’t seem to have noticed, only chuckling in response. “And you’re not that hot,” he adds, smiling a little when Taehyung bursts into laughter.

“Ah, but that means I’m hot enough!” Taehyung says, clapping like he’s just won the lottery. “That’s good enough for me.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down. Jeongguk just shakes his head and stares at the red tabletop. This time, Taehyung catches his attention by kicking his foot lightly. “What’s so bad about having a relationship?” he asks. It’s so straightforward that Jeongguk just gapes at him for several seconds.

“Let me ask you that question,” Jeongguk returns, hoping he doesn’t sound so defensive, leaning back on the backrest of the booth and raising his eyebrows. “What’s so bad about having a relationship? I’m not the only one in this table who doesn’t want to entertain any suitors.” He feels like he’s prying a bit, but Jeongguk really doesn’t want to talk about his own story.

Taehyung laughs, but something shifts as he leans back as well, his hands on the table. His smile isn’t as bright as before as he plays with that ring on his pinky again. Jeongguk feels bad for asking. Jeongguk really shouldn’t have gotten his hackles up and pushed Taehyung to bring up his own issues just so they can avoid talking about his. It’s not fair, especially since Jeongguk has no plans whatsoever to tell Taehyung anything about him. Whatever this friendship is between them, it’s purely because it’s beneficial for the both of them. And completely by accident too.

“The short story is,” Taehyung starts, a smile still pasted on his lips, one that doesn’t reach his eyes. Jeongguk looks away and stares at Taehyung’s hands instead. They’re a bit slimmer than Jeongguk’s, long, almost pretty fingers. “I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with this person and that didn’t happen.”

“I’m sorry,” Jeongguk says. It’s lame, but what else can he say? He really is sorry. He’s also sorry that he made Taehyung bring it up and talk about it. "I shouldn’t have asked. I tend to miss social cues sometimes."

Taehyung shakes his head, his bangs moving sideways, showing a bit of his forehead. “It’s fine,” he says firmly, smiling his happier smile. “Why wouldn’t you ask? It’s been pretty good here so far,” he continues. “Yoongi and Jimin have been a big help to me. Without them, I wouldn’t have settled in as fast as I did."

Jeongguk thinks it has everything to do with Taehyung bright personality, but he doesn’t say anything. “You know Yoongi?” he asks instead before catching himself. “Oh right because of Jimin and because he works with the dance team."

“No,” Taehyung answers, shaking his head. “I actually met Jimin because of Yoongi. Yoongi and my ex were friends and I met Jimin just before they got together.” Jeongguk scrunches his face as he thinks about when that was. “It was freshman year and Yoongi was a sophomore,” he supplies.

“So you’ve witnessed a bit of the dance that those two did around each other,” Jeongguk comments, making a face as he remembers how giddy had been when Yoongi so much just glanced his way. He didn’t think it was possible for someone to swoon at someone every single time, but Jimin proved him wrong.

Taehyung laughs, his bangs falling over his eyes as he nods. He then goes on to talk about all the funny but cute little things that Yoongi wanted to do for Jimin, as per his ex, and Jeongguk couldn’t help but think about how much effort being in a relationship entails. Sure, there are things such as gifts and money and dates. But then there are also the other things, the ones that are easier to part with but harder to forget. Like time, emotions, feelings… your heart. Jeongguk never really did understand how people can be so willing to take that step over the edge and fall for someone they will never really fully know. You could spend time with a person, years, maybe your whole life, and be surprised that, in the end, they’re not the person you thought they were. Jeongguk isn’t sure how people can take the risk of giving their heart away to people just like that. He knows he can’t.

“You’re really quiet, aren’t you?” Taehyung’s voice seeps into his thoughts and Jeongguk looks up from where he’s been staring at his now empty plate. “I mean, aside from fending off your suitors, you never really say anything.” He smiles a little. There’s something a little like understanding in his eyes.

“Why waste words?” Jeongguk says. He’s always been that quiet kid. Jimin knew it right when they met when he’d just sat there while Jimin did all the talking. Jieun knew it too. And at the beginning, they both wondered if there was something wrong with him, until they realized that he just can’t be bothered to talk when there’s nothing important to be said.

Taehyung chuckles, but shrugs. “For conversation? Socialization? Friendship?” he suggests.

“You seem like you don’t need any of those things to talk,” Jeongguk teases. He expects Taehyung to laugh it off, but instead Taehyung nods seriously.

“I find that it helps me think,” Taehyung shares. He leans on the table, pushing his plate to the side. “Which is why I talk to myself a lot. I find that I’m the best person to listen to myself. My friends get tired of listening to me ramble sometimes and I always really need to sound off on things."

Jeongguk stares at him, a little bit in shock at how serious Taehyung is being. About something a little bit crazy as talking to himself. “Uh," he hesitates. “I hope you don’t do it in public at least."

“Who cares?” Taehyung says, shrugging again. “It’s not like people are surprised at how weird I am anymore. I mean, people tell me I’m weird at least once a day.” He looks a little sad at those words and Jeongguk frowns.

“You’re not weird,” Jeongguk blurts out with a sudden surge of overprotectiveness, from where, he’s not sure. Taehyung’s eyebrows are raised, a hint of a smile on the corners of his lips. “I mean,” he backtracks. “Everyone’s a little bit weird, right?"

Taehyung smiles so wide and so big that Jeongguk feels a little bit overwhelmed. He leans back further on his seat and crosses his arms on his chest, maybe to protect himself from the happy. He thought only Hoseok could look that excited, but apparently he’s wrong.

“See, this is why I think that my plan is going to work perfectly,” Taehyung declares with a flourish, his arms stretching up to the ceiling. “It’s the little things like that, you know. You don’t talk, while I talk enough for the both of us. We compliment each other.” He grins and Jeongguk frowns because he doesn’t understand what Taehyung is talking about.

“What plan?” Jeongguk asks, a little bit worried that there’s a plan that concerns him that he has no idea about.

“You saw how Joohyun backed off when you told her you were seeing me, right?” Taehyung starts, both his arms folded on the tabletop. The drop of ketchup on the table catches the elbow of Taehyung’s shirt but he doesn’t seem to notice or mind.

“Yes,” Jeongguk answers, drawing out the vowel as he tries to figure out where this is going.

“And you know Sanghyuk hasn’t asked me out ever since he saw us holding hands,” Taehyung shares with glee. “He hasn’t even really spoken to me since then, which is sad because Sanghyuk is actually nice and was kind of a good friend, he always helped me out with school work and—"

“Taehyung,” Jeongguk cuts him off with a pointed look. He considered letting Taehyung ramble on because it was interesting to see someone get carried away with his words without care. But Jeongguk knows they’re never going to get to the point of he does.

“Sorry,” Taehyung giggles, clapping his hands together and leaving them clasped. “I was thinking, since that worked so well to our favor, we can just tell everyone we know that we’re dating. Like everyone, even our friends. Of course, it won’t be real. But that way, everyone will just leave us alone. Because they’ll think we’re taken, but really we’re not. It’s a great plan, right?” He grins at his great plan and looks at Jeongguk expectantly.

Jeongguk just blinks because, wow, he didn’t think that this is the plan that Taehyung is talking about. He’s not really sure what he expected. But it certainly isn’t this. It was bad enough that they had to do it before, but doing it for good? For a long time? Jeongguk isn’t sure about that.

“Why would we need to?” Jeongguk says, voice a little bit raspy with nervousness. “When it’s already worked? They already backed off. No need to worry anymore."

“Jeongguk, Jeongguk,” Taehyung chants his name like he’s talking to a five year-old. “People are like sharks. It doesn’t matter what’s actually happening, when they smell blood, they’re going to go for it."

“What are you talking about?” Jeongguk asks, confused at the shark metaphor. It makes him want to laugh and shake Taehyung at the same time, although he’s pretty sure they’re not that close yet for Jeongguk to manhandle him.

Taehyung sighs as if it’s so hard to make Jeongguk understand things and Jeongguk wants to kick him because he is not stupid. Taehyung is just overly dramatic and has a weird way of explaining things.

“Sure, they’ve backed off,” Taehyung starts slowly, watching Jeongguk to make sure he follows. Jeongguk tries not to roll his eyes. “But that’s only for now. Once they see that we’re not together all the time, like people in dating should be, they’re going to come back and ask you out again. And other people will too, because now it’s fair game. You have started dating again and they’ll think you’ll want to do it again and more. They’re going to try their luck."

Jeongguk feels a headache coming on. He hates that his conversation with Jimin keeps coming back to him and he hates that it’s because of the whole pretend thing in the first place. Now, he’s pretty sure they shouldn’t have done it in the first place. He suddenly wishes that Taehyung had never come up to him then and saved him from Joohyun. Because, right now, it feels like they just dug themselves into an even deeper ditch.

“Maybe we shouldn’t have done it in the first place then?” Jeongguk voices out because he knows Taehyung won’t be offended. Taehyung doesn’t seem to be like a person who gets easily offended about things. Which is good. Because Jeongguk really doesn’t care about being tactful right now. This whole thing is so stressful. He hates having a discussion on his personal life, much less his love life. “Maybe then we wouldn’t be having this problem and this discussion."

“I was just trying to help, you know, just like you were trying to help me,” Taehyung reminds him, pouting, and, okay, maybe Jeongguk should have been a little bit nicer. Because they really were just trying to help each other. “It’s not like we planned this. I mean, I really couldn’t help myself when you looked so terrified of Joohyun cornering you and asking you out. And I really was—am—grateful that you were there when Sanghyuk did the same to me."

Jeongguk looks out the window and wonders how the hell it’s come to this. He here is, a boy who just wants to finish college and run his heart out, minding his own business because he really doesn’t care much for other people. And now, he’s sitting here with a boy he barely knows, planning a relationship, just because he doesn’t want a real one. It just sounds so absurd. The irony of it all.

“This is ridiculous,” Jeongguk can’t help but say. “How is it going to be different from being in an actual relationship when we’re going to tell even our friends that it’s real?”

“Jimin will know it’s not real,” Taehyung reminds him with a warm smile that shows that this is clearly only a problem to Jeongguk. Jeongguk’s not sure what face he makes but Taehyung launches into another hurried explanation. “The difference is we know it’s not real,” he points out. “You don’t actually have to be in love with me. You don’t even have to kiss me and—hey, I’ll have you know that I’m a very good kisser.” He pokes his tongue out at Jeongguk’s disgusted expression before continuing. “We just need to act like we’re in love so that people will leave us alone. And when we do it long enough, people will get tired and stop trying and just stop trying to ask us out altogether. Can you imagine a day without people coming up to you and confessing or asking you out?"

Right now, Jeongguk really can’t. And he hates that he sounds like a pompous ass even to himself when he says that there hasn’t been a day since he got to university that it has happened. Taehyung’s prospect of Jeongguk's perfect world makes sense, a day spent only with himself or with his select friends, not bothering to fend off anyone or hide from people. But then he remembers what it would take for that to happen. Going out in public and lying to the world (not that he hasn’t done that already) and telling them that he’s in a relationship with Kim Taehyung because he loves him is just… Jeongguk doesn’t think he can stomach it.

“I don’t know,” Jeongguk mumbles, looking down at his lap before glancing up at Taehyung’s face. Taehyung is smiling and really seems like he’s doing all of this for Jeongguk’s benefit, and his, and not for anything else. “Let’s just… sit on that idea for a while.” For some reason, he doesn’t want to reject Taehyung’s idea, for fear that Taehyung would be disappointed and sad that his offer of help hasn’t been heeded.

Taehyung doesn’t look sad. He doesn’t even look disappointed. Instead, Taehyung just laughs and nods. He also slings his arm around Jeongguk once they’re out walking back to university, acting like Jeongguk didn’t indirectly reject him. Jeongguk supposes that’s how it is when you’re like the sun. You don’t really need anyone else’s approval, because maybe they need yours more.










The first track meet of the year comes and goes without much fanfare. At least for Jeongguk. He showed up, put on the singlet with his name on the back and his running shoes, and ran his best for the three kilometer and five kilometer events. Jeongguk won gold for both.

When he walks through the university on the Monday after the meet, Jeongguk is surprised to see several banners congratulating the track team on winning and doing well. He normally wouldn’t care but he suspects these aren’t banners created by the school. They’re too flowery and pink, and he’s pretty sure the school colors are red and gold. Sighing, Jeongguk tightens his hold on his backpack and walks to the cafeteria.

HIs friends aren’t around yet so he takes his usual seat at the very back and opens his textbook. Normally, Jeongguk wouldn’t bother opening his book or even notebook when he’s not in class, but he really doesn’t want to make eye contact right now and invite anyone to have conversation with him, which he senses a few people are dying to have. It makes him appear cold and maybe a bit of a loner sometimes, but he’s found that looking like he’s busy reading cuts the possibility of being approached by half.

“There he is!” Hoseok announces his arrival with loud laughter. He slides onto the seat beside Jeongguk and pulls him into a headlock. “The man of the hour."

“Get off me,” Jeongguk grumbles, although he doesn’t do much to push Hoseok away, knowing that it won’t do much because Hoseok is incredibly clingy when he’s happy and excited. “Also, I’m always the man."

“Always so modest,” Jimin says, sitting across from them, flanked by Yoongi and, surprisingly, Taehyung. “Also, can you talk to this guy?” He shoves Taehyung a little that Taehyung gives out a little yelp, rubbing his arm up and down where Jimin shoved his elbow on it. “He’s been whining and complaining about why he wasn’t asked to watch your meet."

Jeongguk’s eyes flit to Taehyung’s in surprise. “You wanted to watch?” he asks.

Track can be a boring sport, especially Jeongguk’s events, since they take a bit longer than most, and especially to people who don’t like sitting around and waiting for people to cross some finish line. His friends usually avoid watching his meets when they can so Jeongguk isn’t really bothered when they don’t watch.

“Well, yeah,” Taehyung says, licking his lower lip before smiling at him. “You were so good during tryouts that I wanted to see the real thing for myself.” He grins at him. “I wanted to be able to cheer you on for real too."

Jeongguk scoffs. “Well you could’ve been there if you joined the team,” he says, and then flushes when he sees Jimin’s raised eyebrow. Even Yoongi has a small smile on his face and Yoongi rarely ever cares enough about anything, other than Jimin, to smile. Hoseok lets Jeongguk go, pushing him away before chuckling.

“That’s almost romantic, Taehyung,” Hoseok teases. “You shouldn’t act like that with Jeongguk. He’s allergic to romance.” He pats Jeongguk’s shoulder and Jeongguk flinches at his words, even though he knows Hoseok doesn’t mean anything by it. It’s not that it’s a secret to anyone, but talking about it out loud just makes him uncomfortable.

Taehyung chuckles. “I am too,” he says. “Romance is overrated."

The table is silent and Jeongguk allows himself to smile, maybe a little bit gratefully, at Taehyung. Taehyung’s smile widens and wiggles his eyebrows at him.

“Well, maybe Jeongguk here has met his match,” Jimin says, a small smile on his face that Jeongguk has a hard time deciphering. “Just please don’t go sprouting poetic about how it’s better to be single because being taken is great thankyouverymuch, especially when you’re taken by this guy,” he continues, leaning against Yoongi with a love-struck look on his face. Yoongi chuckles and wraps an arm around Jimin’s waist.

Taehyung scoots away from Jimin, while Hoseok gags.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and gets up. “I’m going to grab some lunch,” he says and walks to the lunch line.

There are a few people ahead of him and he takes his time looking through the food, even though he already knows he’s going to get the black bean noodles. It’s always a good idea to eat black bean noodles. There are about four more people before him when one of the guys from one of his previous classes comes up to him.

“The food here never changes,” Sungjae comments and Jeongguk chuckles, nodding.

“But it’s a good thing that there’s always black bean noodles,” Jeongguk comments.

“That’s my favorite too,” Sungjae says, smile widening as he tugs on the drawstring of his grey hoodie. “I always order the same thing."

“Same,” Jeongguk says.

“So I heard about your win,” Sungjae continues when Jeongguk thinks they’re done making small talk. “Congratulations."

Jeongguk feels his cheeks heat up a bit, but nods, smiling a little. “Thank you,” he says. “I mean, it’s not a big deal.” He shrugs.

“Of course it is,” Sungjae says. “I can’t even run to save my life."

“A lot of my friends are the same,” Jeongguk shares with a light chuckle. Maybe Hoseok and Jimin can, and maybe Taehyung since he did try out for the team. But Yoongi would just stand there, probably even just sit or lie down, and Namjoon would just make a face. Seokjin would be the one to bring them all water.

“You’ve been running for a long time?” Sungjae asks, just as Jeongguk reaches the cashier and orders his meal.

“A couple of years, yeah,” Jeongguk says. His black bean noodle bowl is handed to him and he’s just about to excuse himself when Sungjae interrupts. “It’s not really a fascinating story to be honest."

“I’d love to hear more about it anyway,” Sungjae says with a wider smile as his own meal is served. Something churns in Jeongguk’s stomach. “I mean, I’m just sitting with a few of my friends… maybe you want to join us? I’m a really good listener."

Jeongguk shouldn’t be surprised that anyone who comes up to him is only going to ask him out and not really bother being actually just friends. Which is really depressing and he hates it so much. He doesn’t remember the last time anyone came up to talk to him just because they wanted to talk.

“I’m with my friends too,” Jeongguk says, already taking a step back. His grip on his tray is tight enough to make his knuckles white. “Thanks anyway."

“Maybe another time then?” Sungjae asks. He looks so hopeful and excited about the prospect that Jeongguk tries hard not to sigh or rolls his eyes.

Jeongguk isn’t sure what prompts him to say it but it almost feels like that’s the only thing that’s worked so far so he goes on with it. “I, uh, actually have a boyfriend so…” he tells him.

“Oh I didn’t realize,” Sungjae says, eyes wide. “I didn’t think you were together, just that you were dating—"

“Sorry,” Jeongguk cuts him off, not sure how else to address the rumors.

Sungjae gives him an apologetic smile before hightailing it out of there. Jeongguk doesn’t even have words for what just happened. He’s tired of feeling bad for people and tired of having to feel like he has to explain himself over and over again. Jeongguk takes a deep breath and turns around to walk back to his table. When he does, Taehyung is there, hanging on him, a relaxed arm around Jeongguk’s neck.

“You should stop sneaking up on people like that,” Jeongguk mutters, his heart beating a little bit faster at being surprised at Taehyung’s sudden appearance at his side.

Taehyung just chuckles and it takes them several more steps before he says anything. “So… you have a boyfriend, huh?” His tone is mostly teasing, but there’s also a hint of curiosity in it.

“What are you even doing here?” Jeongguk asks, dodging the question. At the corner of his eye, he sees Sungjae watching them.

“I got sick of Jimin and Yoongi,” Taehyung says. “Hoseok left after you did and it’s really a bad idea to hang out with those two by yourself. They have too much grease.” He actually shudders.

“That sounds gross,” Jeongguk laughs. Somehow, Taehyung always knows how to make him feel at ease even when they’re talking about weird things that usually make Jeongguk feel uneasy.

“Don’t tell me you don’t know how they are,” Taehyung whines. His hand falls to Jeongguk's shoulder and squeezes.

“Jimin still acts like a giddy little school girl around Yoongi sometimes,” Jeongguk points out, showing Taehyung just how much he knows. “And it’s gross a lot of the time."

Jimin hadn’t always acted that way. At the beginning of his relationship with Yoongi, he’d always shied away, worried about how none of this could be real, that it’s still impossible that Yoongi would ever like him back. Which is really stupid because Jimin is the only person who makes Yoongi’s soft heart appear, if Yoongi’s fond smiles are any indication. After a huge fight between them, Jimin finally let his insecurities go and just let himself love Yoongi. And now here they are, being gross everyday.

“So who’s your boyfriend?” Taehyung asks, jumping right back in. It’s clear that he’s not going to let this go.

“Just some idiot,” Jeongguk finally grumbles an answer, letting out a breath. “Anyone who even thinks of being in a relationship with me is actually an idiot.” He gives Taehyung a knowing glance, which Taehyung returns with surprise.

“How so?” Taehyung asks.

Jeongguk sighs again and stops just before they reach their their table to face Taehyung, Taehyung’s arm dropping from his shoulders. “Because I’m never going to want to be in one and I’m just going to end up hurting them,” he explains, looking into Taehyung’s eyes, hoping he understands what he means. He hates having to do this, but he has to. Things have to be clear.

Taehyung doesn’t say anything for a while, but then reaches up to sling his arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders again and pulling him to their table. “It’s like you don’t know me,” he teases, just as they take their seats. "Tell you what,” he suggests, grinning. “Why don’t we celebrate your gold medals? Come with me to the music room after classes. I’ll play you something on my saxophone."

“You play the saxophone?” Jeongguk says, so surprised that he forgets their earlier conversation for a second.

“He’s really good too,” Jimin pipes in when he overhears.

Taehyung grins at Jeongguk. “I’m full of surprises, aren’t I?"

Jeongguk nods. But it’s not like that’s a surprise. Taehyung has been surprising him the moment they met.










Jeongguk generally isn’t the forgetful type, especially when it’s something he’s focused on and something he’s been doing for a while. This is why he has no problem with regards to school. It’s something he’s always wanted to study and he finds it so interesting that studying isn’t something he worries about. It’s the same with running—especially with running. Once he joined the team and learned about the sport in high school, it took him just a snap of a finger to get things. It was easy and natural, to the point that he doesn’t even think about it anymore. He just does it.

This thing with Taehyung, though, Jeongguk always forgets. It’s not because he doesn’t find it important or that he’s doesn’t care about it. It’s just that it’s so weird to find himself in a relationship, despite it being a fake one, that he still hasn’t really wrapped his head around it. It’s only when someone comes up to him that he remembers that, yes, he has a boyfriend (not really) and that he can’t go out with other people (which he is truly grateful for).

“You have a boyfriend?” Bambam asks after Jeongguk gets cornered by a rather tall, but pretty, girl outside of the locker room before they go out to the oval. “A serious boyfriend?"

“Since when?” Yugyeom pipes in, putting an arm around Bambam’s shoulders, when Jeongguk nods.

“Uh,” Jeongguk stammers, shoving his hands into his track pants. “It hasn’t been long. It’s pretty new.” He thinks about how he’s known Taehyung for several weeks now and how they have, technically, been pretending to be together that entire time. “It’s not a big deal,” he adds, feeling his cheeks heating up at the attention.

The rest of the team is listening in, all looking at him like this is big news. Jinyoung and Youngjae are both gaping at him. Jeongguk has to admit that it probably is shocking. He’s been on the team for three years now. Most of these guys have been with him since the beginning and this is the first time Jeongguk has ever had a boyfriend that’s serious that they know of. Joonmyun, however, has a small and encouraging smile on his face, which comforts Jeongguk a little. It makes him think that it’s going to be okay. The precise reason why he and Taehyung are pretending to be together is for people to know about it. Although, he and Taehyung never really gave each other a verbal approval. He supposes this is okay, that he’s actually telling people and talking about it. Taehyung won’t mind.

“It kind of is,” Yugyeom says, patting Jeongguk’s back. “But we’re happy for you.” He grins. “When do we meet the guy?"

Jeongguk glances at the stands, where Taehyung is taking a long stretch of space for himself. He’s sprawled on his stomach, pen sucked in his mouth, brows furrowed as he focuses on the books open in front of him. Taehyung had insisted that it would make perfect sense for him to study at the bleachers, during Jeongguk's practice. It’s kind of weird having Taehyung there, but it makes things easier since he doesn’t have to explain to the team who he is.

“Oh so you are dating him,” Bambam says, mouth hanging open. “I mean, I heard the rumours. But when it comes to you, they’re usually not true.” He smiles a little at Jeongguk. “I guess it’s true this time."

“I guess so,” Jeongguk says, looking at Taehyung, who happens to catch his gaze this time. Taehyung gets up, goes down the few steps, and leans on the railing. He waves at Jeongguk with a big smile on his face. Jeongguk feels his cheeks heating up further when the team starts teasing him when he waves back.

The whole thing is absolutely crazy and he keeps forgetting details that he’s supposed to know, but he’s sure that Taehyung can single-handedly carry this “relationship” by himself. Jeongguk doesn’t have to worry. He shakes the thoughts of relationships and Taehyung out of his head as Joonmyun catches their attention by handing out the training for the day with their coach in a meeting. But before he starts to run, he sneaks a glance in Taehyung’s direction. Taehyung’s focus is back on his work. Jeongguk allows himself a small smile before he pushes off.










If Jeongguk thought that their friends aren’t going to get wind of this new development between him and Taehyung, he was very wrong. It’s not that Jeongguk thought he could get away without explaining it. He just figured they’d know but leave it alone, since they’re his friends and all and they know how much talking about things like this make him uncomfortable. That’s pretty much what they’ve done, though, for the past few days. Jimin only kept on side-eyeing him, while Hoseok and Namjoon kept on sniggering whenever Taehyung becomes touchy with him. At least Yoongi and Seokjin seemed like they didn’t care. He really thought that was going to be that.

Jeongguk arrives late to the party because, one, he didn’t really want to go, and two, he fell asleep and woke up only early into the evening. So when he gets there, he finds his friends already tipsy and loud. He slips into the seat in between Jieun and Jimin, who grins at him and hands him a red paper cup.

“There you are,” Hoseok announces, clapping. “Taehyung said he wasn’t sure if you were coming."

Jeongguk puts his drink down. “Taehyung is here?” he asks, glancing around. The place is full of gyrating bodies and people standing around, drinking. Taehyung had mentioned a party, but Jeongguk felt so tired and sleepy that he didn’t even really remember it until now.

“You don’t know that he’s here?” Namjoon asks, eyebrows raising before furrowing.

“Should he?” Jieun asks, nudging Jeongguk to get him to talk to her privately, and Jeongguk tries to be more subtle in looking for Taehyung. He also tries to avoid the way Jimin is boring holes into his skull. “Haven’t seen you around in a while. How have you been?” Her hair is tied in a messy bun on top of her head, wisps of hair falling to the sides of her face.

“You’re the one who’s been busy,” Jeongguk teases her, fidgeting in his seat and wrapping an arm around her to give her a one-armed hug. “I’ve only been doing the usual things, school and track. You know me.” He takes several gulps of his beer and almost finishes it when he uses the act to look around some more.

It’s only then that Taehyung shows up, wearing a big black, long-sleeved shirt with a rip on the shoulder, and Jeongguk has to fight back a smile because Taehyung is quite unique when choosing his clothes. In the times they’ve seen each other in school and during the ones where they hang out together, Taehyung would always be wearing some baggy shirt with a hole somewhere with baggy pants. And the holes would actually be the style of the shirt. Jeongguk tries not to laughing out loud when Taehyung looks like he wants to share something really funny that he just heard. But then he stops in his tracks in seeing Jeongguk.

“Look who’s here,” Seokjin tells Taehyung, his eyes moving from Taehyung to Jeongguk and back.

“Jeongguk,” Taehyung blurts out, eyes wide. And then he’s grinning and walking towards Jeongguk and pulling him out of his seat. He sits Jeongguk on the other side of the living room without a word, right beside Seokjin and across from Jieun and Jimin. “I’m going to go get a drink,” he then says before walking away.

“Did you guys have a fight?” Hoseok wants to know, looking like he’s upset and worried about the possibility. He tugs at his collared shirt, unbuttoning the first two buttons. His face is red, looking like he almost had too much to drink.

“I’m actually still having trouble wrapping my mind about this whole thing,” Seokjin admits. “I mean just the other day you two were talking about being allergic to romance.”

“What are you talking about?” Jeongguk asks, addressing Hoseok’s question instead. Jimin purses his lips and stares at his beer, while Jieun frowns in confusion.

“You guys didn’t go to the party together,” Hoseok points out. “Both of you didn’t even know the other was going to be here and now you aren’t even really talking."

“Huh,” Jeongguk says because to him those aren’t necessary things for them to do. Is that what it’s supposed to be like when someone’s in a relationship? You have to tell each other where you’re going? That sounds really stifling. Jeongguk almost wants to get up and take a breather outside.

“You really are dating, right? It’s not just another one of those rumors?” Seokjin asks this time and it sets all kinds of warning bells in Jeongguk’s head. He’s the more perceptive one of their friends. Yoongi is, too, but he rarely cares to notice things, unlike Seokjin who just notices everything. “I mean, this is the first time we’re actually hearing you talk about this."

Jeongguk takes several more gulps of his beer, ending up finishing the entire thing. It should be easy to say yes, I am dating Taehyung, we are dating, we are together, but it really isn’t and now Jeongguk is feeling the pressure. Where the hell is Taehyung if he actually is here? He puts his drink down and takes a deep breath, but before he can say anything—he’s not sure what—Jimin puts his own drink down on the table and sighs.

“Jeongguk and Taehyung are really a weirdly private couple,” Jimin explains, glaring at Jeongguk. “They’re not really into public displays of affection.” He smiles at Jeongguk, but it’s a smile that says I hate that you’re making me explain this whole lie to everyone.

Jeongguk looks away from Jimin and sees the way Jieun reacts in the process. Her brows furrow even further and she turns to Jimin in question. Jimin just shrugs at her and smiles, nodding towards Jeongguk, who averts his gaze. Jeongguk doesn’t want to explain now. Even if he could explain, he doesn’t really know how to tell Jieun about it without sounding stupid.

Their friends are quiet and Jeongguk knows it’s not going to be enough. Seokjin doesn’t look like he believes anything. Even Yoongi looks a bit suspicious. Jeongguk has to be the one to say something.

“Yeah,” Jeongguk confirms, his voice raspy. “Sorry I didn’t say anything. I just didn’t think it was a big deal.” Which it really shouldn’t be. If he knew that this is the kind of effort needed for this, he would’ve really thought harder about it. “But yeah,” he adds. “Not really into PDA.”

“Are you kidding? How do you even manage that?” Yoongi chuckles, a bit dryly. “Taehyung is one of the touchiest people I’ve met and he’s not even remotely interested in me.”

“He shouldn’t be,” Jimin mutters and Yoongi just presses a kiss to the crown of Jimin’s head.

Jeongguk silently agrees because Taehyung has been touchy since the first time they met. But he doesn’t say anything else because he’s not sure what’s going on right now and what he should do about it. He wonders if he should just get up and find Taehyung so they could talk about things, because they never really talked about what this whole pretending thing entails. Whinging it may have worked in the beginning, but this is their friends they’re talking about and it’s not going to work if it’s not convincing. Seokjin already looks like he’s going to call bullshit. Jeongguk catches himself at that last thought and wonders when he became so invested in this and in making it work.

“Jeongguk doesn’t like PDA,” Taehyung tells them, coming back and handing Jeongguk a bottle of beer. He then proceeds to sit on Jeongguk’s lap, making Jeongguk choke on his sip of the beer. “So we don’t really act all gross in public. Unlike some people.” He gives Jimin a pointed look and Jeongguk laughs. That was a good save.

Jimin just rolls his eyes as he leans into Yoongi’s side. He opens his mouth to defend himself, but then Yoongi steps in. “Leave us alone, Taehyung,” Yoongi grumbles, pressing another kiss to the side of Jimin’s head. Jimin blushes.

Jeongguk looks away and shakes his head, wrapping his arm around Taehyung’s waist when Taehyung nudges to do so. This is so crazy, he can’t help but think, as Taehyung wiggles on his lap and looks down at him. They’re really going to have to talk about this. It’s a good thing that he doesn’t mind Taehyung. They’ve had quite a bit of practice so it’s not as awkward being affectionate with him.

“What the hell are you wearing?” Jeongguk hisses, teasing him. He reaches up and pokes Taehyung's skin where the rip is on the shoulder of his shirt.

“This is very fashionable, I’ll have you know. Besides, it’s comfortable,” Taehyung says, making a face at him. Jeongguk mimics him because Taehyung is so much fun to tease because he never really takes offense. Taehyung pinches his cheek and Jeongguk yelps.

“Well I never thought I’d see the day,” Jieun finally speaks up, jolting Jeongguk out of the mini staring contest he’s been having with Taehyung for the past few seconds. “Jeon Jeongguk in an actual relationship.” She’s smiling, but she doesn’t sound like she’s actually happy and congratulating him. It makes Jeongguk shift in his seat, unknowingly tightening his hold on Taehyung.

“This calls for a toast,” Hoseok excitedly declares, holding up his red cup. “To Jeongguk and Taehyung."

Jeongguk sighs to himself when he catches Jimin’s wry smile, even as Taehyung laughs.










“What the hell,” Jeongguk hisses, glancing around just as Taehyung pouts at him.

They’re outside of Taehyung’s apartment, where Taehyung told Jeongguk to meet him. Because they’re boyfriends now and, according to Taehyung, Jeongguk should pick him up from his place if he wants to be a good one. Taehyung comes out, wearing a plain white shirt with a denim jacket and denim pants. With a yellow cap. Jeongguk makes a face.

“Hey, I really like this outfit,” Taehyung says, lower lip jutted out as he looks down, patting his outfit. “I even really thought about it and I’ve always liked denim so I thought why not?” He pats his white shirt down some more, pout becoming more prominent.

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung’s outfit and just rolls his eyes. “I don’t even care what you’re wearing,” he says, making a face at him. “I think you look fine,” he adds when he gets a closer look. Sure, Taehyung’s fashion can be questionable but he looks good anyway so there’s really no problem with that. Taehyung’s expression immediately changes into a happy one, eyes crinkling as he smiles happily at him.

“So then why do you look like that?” Taehyung asks, stepping closer to Jeongguk and putting his pointer fingers on the corners of Jeongguk's lips to lift them to a smile. “Much better,” he comments with a satisfied grin.

Jeongguk bats Taehyung's hands away. “Why am I the one picking you up and walking you to classes?” he demands. “Why can’t you do it?"

Taehyung laughs and puts an arm around Jeongguk’s shoulders, like he always does, as they walk out of Taehyung’s apartment building. “Because you need to be conscious of the effort that will take for this to work,” he tells him with a chuckle.

“Well, what if I forget to pick you up then?” Jeongguk says, frowning a little because what Taehyung said makes sense. He really isn’t into this whole thing yet and keeps on forgetting what he should do. He sighs. “This is why I don’t like relationships."

“Good thing you aren’t in one,” Taehyung reminds him, patting Jeongguk's shoulder. “But until you can do this like clockwork, you’ll be the one to consciously make an effort."

“I think we’re going to have to really discuss this,” Jeongguk says after thinking about it. “Like, really sit down and talk about it.” Because what if he makes a mistake and slips? Then all of this would have been for nothing. It would just be a waste and he’d be right back into square one.

“You want to talk about it?” Taehyung asks, more teasing than anything. “Meaning you’re actually going to make an effort to see this whole thing through with me?” His smile is bigger and Jeongguk wonders if Taehyung’s been stressed or annoyed with him because of his lack of effort.

Jeongguk shoves Taehyung, enough to chide his teasing, but brings him back with an arm around his shoulders this time. He knows he hasn’t really been very agreeable over this whole thing, outrightly rejecting it even though he hasn’t done so vocally.

“I know I haven’t been very supportive even though this is for both our benefits,” Jeongguk starts to explain. “But yeah, let’s do this,” he declares, smiling at Taehyung, even though his heart is hammering in his chest. Where do they even begin? How do they actually do this?

Taehyung is looking at him like he knows what Jeongguk is thinking, and Jeongguk is grateful that Taehyung is always looking to him and caring about what he thinks and how he feels about things. He really isn’t sure how he would have handled this if it wasn’t Taehyung helping him through it.

“Let’s start now,” Taehyung announces, chuckling when Jeongguk trips in surprise. “Don’t worry, we’ll start with something easy.” He winks at Jeongguk and Jeongguk just nods as if to say okay I’m ready. “I really like holding hands,” he tells Jeongguk.

Jeongguk nods, closing his eyes for a second as he repeats it in his head. He should really remember things about Taehyung and things that he likes more often, like how Taehyung’s a touchy person and would probably like to be on the receiving end of touches too. So, yes, hand holding. Jeongguk will make sure to remember that.

“You should be holding my hand right about now,” Taehyung’s amused voice breaks into his thoughts.

Jeongguk’s mouth hangs open. “Now? Why? I have my arm around you,” he says. “Besides, I thought we aren’t a PDA couple.” He presses his lips together to hide his panic.

“Practice makes perfect,” Taehyung reminds him. “You should know that our friends don’t look really convinced. We were lucky during the party. But even if we aren’t into public displays of affection, we should still be touching somehow.” He nudges Jeongguk a little, a small, amused smile on his face. It’s a bit strange on Taehyung’s face because usually his smile is so big. “Is it so scary to hold my hand? You’ve done it before."

But Jeongguk wasn’t thinking then. It seemed like the most logical thing to hold Taehyung’s hand because Taehyung looked like he needed someone to hold his hand that time, literally and figuratively. Jeongguk just gave Taehyung what he thought Taehyung needed.

“It’s not so scary,” Taehyung insists when Jeongguk doesn’t answer. He shrugs Jeongguk’s arm off his shoulders. Jeongguk looks down and watches as Taehyung threads their fingers together, Taehyung’s thinner and longer fingers slotted in between his thicker ones. “There doesn’t have to be a reason for holding hands,” he goes on, his smile widening when Jeongguk doesn’t pull away. “Couples don’t really need reasons to do anything together or for each other. They just do it because they like it, because they like each other and can’t get enough of each other.”

“We’re in the middle of the quad,” Jeongguk says anyway, glancing around and noticing the stares that they’re getting. “Can I show how much I can’t get enough of you somewhere else less public?"

Taehyung giggles, his shoulders shaking, his hand tightening on Jeongguk’s. “It’s now or never, Jeon Jeongguk,” he tells him with a sort of determination that Jeongguk wishes he has. “I really don’t see the problem. You’ve held my hand before,” he repeats.

“That was different,” Jeongguk says. Taehyung pouts and Jeongguk rolls his eyes. “I hate it when you pout.” He squeezes Taehyung’s hand.

“I’m cute when I pout,” Taehyung says, pouting even more, probably to make a point and annoy Jeongguk even more.

“Stop it,” Jeongguk grumbles, untangling his hand from Taehyung’s to poke his cheek. He then sighs and puts his hand down so they can hold hands again, which, Jeongguk has to admit, feels actually nice. Taehyung’s hand is warm against his and grounds him, which really isn’t surprising. Everything about Taehyung seems warm and grounding.

“It’s not so hard, right?” Taehyung beams at him and swings their hands back and forth, which is probably catching even more attention. He leans closer to Jeongguk to whisper in his ear. “People look like they don’t know what to think."

“I hate it that people care. What we do is our business. If two people hold hands and are touchy and want to express that, they should be able to do it freely. If we don’t want to be expressive or date at all, that should be our business too,” Jeongguk grumbles under this breath. “So what if we’ve become one of those gross couples?"

“This isn’t even close to being gross,” Taehyung mutters with a chuckle, squeezing Jeongguk’s hand before dropping it and wrapping his arm around Jeongguk’s instead.

“What could be worse?” Jeongguk wants to know.

“Kissing,” Taehyung answers as he leans his cheek on Jeongguk’s shoulder. “In public."

Jeongguk chokes on his own breath and Taehyung bursts into loud laughter.

“Are we going to have to do that?” Jeongguk asks, eyes wide. “Kiss in public?” He’s not a stranger to kissing, even though it has been a while since he’s kissed anyone, but he hasn’t done it in public either and he’s not sure he wants to. Why is this dating thing so complicated? Relationships seem like they take a lot of work. Why do people even want them, especially when they don’t last?

“Let’s focus on hand-holding for now,” Taehyung tells him, his lower lip in between his teeth as he grins at Jeongguk when he takes his hand in his again. “And worry about the rest later.” He wiggles his eyebrows up and down and Jeongguk narrows his eyes at him because he knows Taehyung is teasing.

Jeongguk opens his mouth to retort when he stops in his tracks, tugging Taehyung back with him. Jimin and Yoongi are beside the doorway of their classroom. Yoongi is handing Jimin his books and Jimin is beaming at his boyfriend like an idiot. Jeongguk’s not sure why he hasn’t really noticed before, but Yoongi probably walks Jimin to his classes all the time. Jimin seems like the type to want to be walked to class, while Yoongi is definitely the idiot who indulges all of Jimin’s needs.

“Well, well, look who we have here,” Yoongi dryly remarks, one corner of his mouth lifting up to a smirk. Jimin turns around and his mouth hangs open in surprise.

“You’re walking him to class?” Jimin asks Taehyung, his eyes traveling down to their clasped hands.

“No, he’s walking me to class,” Taehyung corrects him before Jeongguk can answer. He has a smile on his face and Jeongguk can’t help but smile too because Taehyung’s joy is too infectious sometimes.

“You are?” Jimin asks, clearly surprised. Even Yoongi blinks his eyes open, looking more awake.

“What?” Jeongguk says defensively, taking a step back and unconsciously tugging Taehyung closer to him. “What’s so wrong with me walking Taehyung to class?"

“Yeah, I’m his boyfriend,” Taehyung reminds them and Jimin rolls his eyes.

“So this is what it’s like when Jeon Jeongguk is in a relationship,” Yoongi adds, still smirking, slinking an arm around Jimin, who raises his eyebrows at Jeongguk and Taehyung.

“You guys are gross,” Jimin comments, giving Jeongguk a look before making a face at the both of them.

“Yeah well, mind your own relationship,” Jeongguk retorts, making Taehyung laugh as he pulls Taehyung away from there so he can get him to his class.

“My hero,” Taehyung teases once they’re out of earshot.

“Shut up,” Jeongguk grumbles, but doesn’t fight the smile on his face either.










Jeongguk gets used to Taehyung, more so than before, now that he’s around all the time. He also gets used to being affectionate with him, the way boyfriends are supposed to be. Taehyung has taught him all about the little touches, the discreet looks, and the small smiles. They’ve learned how to act like they’re together without being over-the-top, which is something Jeongguk really likes. Jeongguk has learned that shuffling closer to Taehyung says a lot more than a public lip lock does, that it speaks more of comfort and trust. Whenever he looks to his side, he finds Taehyung always there and, after a while, Jeongguk finds himself automatically reaching for Taehyung without even bothering to check if he’s actually there. Taehyung just usually is. It’s kind of amazing how easy it is to intertwine their fingers together, run his fingers through Taehyung’s hair while he’s lying on Jeongguk’s lap, and smile at him like he’s the sun. Taehyung really makes it easy for Jeongguk and all Jeongguk can do is be grateful.

“Is that Japchae I smell? Are you making Japchae?” are the first words out of Taehyung’s mouth the moment he steps into Jeongguk’s apartment and toes off his shoes.

Jeongguk turns and sees Jimin look up from where he’s sitting on the floor, several books open on the table in front of him. “Jeongguk is,” he tells Taehyung, nodding towards the small kitchen before turning back to his books. Jeongguk smiles when Taehyung approaches him with a similar expression on his face.

“You’re making Japchae?” Taehyung says, stepping into Jeongguk’s open arms and wrapping his arms around him too tightly in excitement. “Why?” he asks as he steps back and lets Jeongguk go back to cooking. He leans on the counter, watching Jeongguk mix.

“Because you had that Anatomy & Physiology exam and that Human Genetics paper and then there's that Microbiology Lab that you’ve been whining about,” Jeongguk says, eyes fixed on the pan. The Japchae is almost done. The beef has turned brown and the mushrooms look soft and shiny. He picks up a clean pair of chopsticks and takes a piece of mushroom to feed to Taehyung when he notices Taehyung staring at him. “What? Everything okay?” he asks, a bit worried with the way Taehyung’s eyes are wide and searching.

“Yeah,” Taehyung says, straightening up and blinking several times as if to catch himself. “It’s nothing. I mean, thank you.” He smiles at Jeongguk and it’s a smile that Jeongguk has come to know as Taehyung’s boyfriend smile. It’s the smile that appears on Taehyung’s face whenever he’s putting on a show for whoever’s around them. He supposes it’s for Jimin this time.

“Here, taste this,” Jeongguk says, proceeding with feeding Taehyung a piece of mushroom and then some beef. Taehyung chews, his eyes twinkling with hunger and excitement. “Good?"

“Very good,” Taehyung agrees. He beams at Jeongguk and presses a kiss to his cheek before moving away to get some plates and utensils. Jeongguk stares at him for a second and then turns the stove off. “How’s your Sociological Theory paper?” he asks, handing Jeongguk a plate to put the Japchae on.

“Finished and forgotten,” Jeongguk answers as he transfers the Japchae to the plate. He adds the egg garnish and a tablespoon of sesame seeds, mixes it, and then places it on the table. “What are you doing? Go take a seat and eat.” He wraps an arm around Taehyung’s waist and pulls him away from where he’s about to pour them glasses of juice. He takes over and places the glasses of juice on the table just as Taehyung sits down.

“Come here,” Taehyung says, opening his arms and reaching for Jeongguk.

“The food’s going to get cold,” Jeongguk reminds him even as he allows himself to be wrapped in Taehyung’s arms, Taehyung pressing his face into Jeongguk’s chest for a second before he’s looking up at him, his chin digging into his breast bone.

“Thank you for this,” Taehyung tells him. “I know you’ve been busy too and you know I can’t really cook for you."

Jeongguk looks down at Taehyung, at his slightly messy, now brown hair, his pinking cheeks, and his red lower lip, which Taehyung is biting in his uncertainty and shyness. “Will you stop?” he says, leaning down and allowing himself to press a kiss on Taehyung’s forehead. It’s not something he would normally do but Taehyung looks so adorably worried, Jeongguk feels like he should reassure him. They’re friends, after all, and anything he can do to make his friends feel better, he’ll do. “You’ve been so stressed these days,” he adds. “It’s the least I can do."

“You’re too good to me,” Taehyung sighs when Jeongguk pulls away.

On the contrary, Taehyung is the one too good for Jeongguk. Jeongguk can be too quiet, too focused on running that he forgets to pick Taehyung up sometimes, and too absorbed on himself and his problems. But Taehyung puts up with him and doesn’t berate him, just teases him and understands. So really, the least Jeongguk can do is do things like remember the things that Taehyung likes, like what his favorite food is and make it for him. It’s nothing compared to everything that Taehyung is doing for him.

“You guys are gross,” Jimin comments as he walks into the kitchen with Hoseok behind him.

Hoseok immediately dives for the Japchae without so much as a proper hello and Taehyung, laughing, hurriedly serves him a plateful. Jimin joins them on the table but doesn’t look like he’s going to eat, shaking his head when Taehyung offers him some.

“Very gross,” Hoseok adds, his mouth full and disgusting.

“I made that for Taehyung,” Jeongguk points out, kicking his shin to make his point. “So don’t finish it all."

“Yeah yeah,” Hoseok says as he rubs his shin. “You know I would never have thought that you two would end up together."

Jeongguk frowns as Taehyung asks, “Why not?” His teammates had voiced out the same thing to him during one of their practices and Jeongguk was almost offended that they presumed to know what Jeongguk’s type is.

Jeongguk had shut the whole conversation down by telling them that Taehyung is great, that he’s funny, sweet, crazy intelligent, and could be a good runner if he wanted to be, which makes him everyone’s type. His teammates look chastised by the time he’s done and Jeongguk doesn’t even feel the least bit guilty going off on a tirade about Taehyung, who isn’t really his boyfriend, because everything he’s said is true.

Jeongguk remembers looking to the stands after that whole conversation and feeling some swell of pride when he sees Taehyung look up from what he’s reading and wave at him. It only emphasized his point about how amazing Taehyung is. Who else would come to track practice to support their boyfriend? Jeongguk is pretty sure Taehyung would really do that for his boyfriend, so Jeongguk is quite lucky to be experiencing it firsthand.

“Is Jieun coming over?” Jeongguk asks Jimin, having tuned the rest of the conversation off.

Jimin blinks at him before shaking his head. “She’s busy with some school stuff,” he says.

There’s something about the way Jimin won’t look at him but Jeongguk doesn’t want to dwell too much on it. He hasn’t seen Jieun in a while, her excuse always being that she’s doing too many things, which Jeongguk understands. Still, they’ve always managed to make time for each other before. But maybe this time it’s really too hectic that she doesn’t that much time to spare. Jeongguk takes a deep breath and wills himself to stop worrying over it. He and Jieun are fine.

“You okay?” Taehyung’s hand is massaging the back of Jeongguk’s head, his fingers brushing the ends of his hair.

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung and sees his worrying smile and wonders how things can ever be not okay when Taehyung makes it seem like everything is.










Jeongguk is in the library, in the middle of typing a paper that’s due at the end of the week, when his phone starts ringing. He doesn’t notice it at first, too engrossed with with figuring out how to phrase his point better, but then Taehyung nudges his foot. Jeongguk looks up at him with tired, droopy eyes and Taehyung nods towards his phone, which is vibrating on the wooden tabletop.

“Your phone’s ringing,” Taehyung adds as if he’s not sure Jeongguk understood.

“Oh,” Jeongguk says, grabbing it and hurrying outside to answer it. “Hi mom."

Jeongguk doesn’t understand what his mother's saying at first. She goes on and on about how far Jeongguk’s school is, how far the city is, and how the track is so bumpy and that the president should invest in cheaper ways to travel. He just lets her drone on for a bit, his mind still on his paper and how he should be done with it soon and that he’ll be able to move on to study for a recitation next week, when she tells him that she’s outside his apartment.

“What?” Jeongguk asks, blinking rapidly to wake himself up and check in to the conversation.

“I’m outside your apartment,” his mother repeats with a sigh that tells him she’s being very patient with him. “I was in the city and I thought I’d drop by and see my son who hasn’t come to visit at all."

Jeongguk swallows and takes a deep breath, leaning against the wall beside the library entrance, hoping that the dread tightening his chest will ease. It’s partly guilt, for not coming back home ever since he left for university. But it’s mostly something else, and one he isn’t ready to face, one he has never been ready to face.

“Mom, I’m in the library and—“ Jeongguk stammers, unsure as to how to get out of this. He’s being rude and a really bad son, but he is just not ready. He doesn’t hate his mother, it’s not that. There are just some things he’s been dealing with that he never wants to burden her with.

“Skip class if you have to,” his mother tells him. “I go back tonight and I really don’t want to go without at least seeing you.” She pauses. “It’s been three years, Jeongguk.”

Jeongguk takes another deep breath, squeezing his eyes shut for a second and nodding. “Okay,” he finally agrees. “I’ll call Jimin and let him know you’re there. I think he’s just about done with his class. I’ll be there as soon as I can."

He ends the call the moment his mother says see you and rushes back into the library as soon as he’s sure Jimin is on his way back to their apartment. When Jeongguk gets back to their table, Taehyung is leaning against the table, eyes focused on his text book, one end of a pen in his mouth. Instead of going back to his seat, Jeongguk goes to the empty one on Taehyung’s left, startling Taehyung.

“Hey,” Taehyung says, arm immediately coming up to go around Jeongguk. Jeongguk rarely ever initiates physical contact like this, in spite of all the touching he and Taehyung do. Taehyung, on the other hand, never hesitates, especially when he feels like Jeongguk needs it. Which he really does right now. “Everything okay? Who called?"

Jeongguk lets out a breath, closing his eyes as he shifts closer to Taehyung, his forehead pressed to Taehyung’s neck. Taehyung is always so warm and cozy that he doesn’t even care that he’s being like a puppy right now. Jeongguk needs to give himself a few seconds of quiet, to clear his brain to really understand what’s happening and what’s about to happen. He thinks Taehyung’s embrace is the perfect place to do that.

Jeongguk's relationship with his mother is quite complicated, in the sense that they talk but don’t really talk at all. They talk about his classes mostly. Sometimes she updates him on her day too. But other than that, they don’t really talk about anything else. Because Jeongguk wouldn’t let them talk about anything else, lest it leads to topics he’d rather not even think about.

“Jeongguk, you’re going to have to tell me what’s going on,” Taehyung says, rubbing a hand up and down Jeongguk’s arm.

Jeongguk thinks he feels Taehyung press his lips to his hair, but he isn’t very sure. Not that he would mind if he did. He and Taehyung have done more things together that Jeongguk wouldn’t have thought of doing with anyone, things like leaning on someone, being expressive, showing emotion. Somehow Jeongguk is learning that with Taehyung and, with Taehyung, Jeongguk doesn’t mind. Taehyung knows their boundaries and respects them. Jeongguk trusts him. But he isn’t sure if he trusts him enough to respond to that.

“Do you want to go out?” Jeongguk asks instead, pulling away from Taehyung. “Like maybe grab an early dinner?” He takes his phone out from his pocket and takes a look at the time. His mother is probably in the apartment by now with Jimin. It should be fine. “What do you think? Do you want to?” he asks again, looking up at Taehyung as he pockets his phone. “Early dinner?"

“Jeongguk, are you sure you’re okay?” Taehyung asks, brows furrowed, lips pressed together in a line.

“Just come to dinner with me?” Jeongguk presses once he’s packed all his things. He puts his backpack on. “Please?” He blinks at Taehyung, whose eyes are searching and worried. For a second, Jeongguk thinks Taehyung is going to say no because sometimes Taehyung says no and Jeongguk understands. But he really doesn’t want to be understanding right now so Jeongguk hopes he’ll say yes.

Taehyung takes a deep breath and nods. “Okay,” he agrees, getting up as well, and packs his things. “I’ll go to dinner with you.” He zips his bag up and turns to Jeongguk. “On one condition,” he decides, “if you’ll come back to your apartment like you’re supposed to.”

Jeongguk’s heart hammers in his chest as he swallows. “Jimin told you,” he says.

“He’s looking for you,” Taehyung says. “He didn’t say why but—"

“I’ll walk you home,” Jeongguk cuts him off, sharper than he intended to so he apologizes for by reaching for Taehyung’s hand and squeezing it.

Taehyung doesn’t ask questions on their way to Taehyung’s apartment. Taehyung never asks questions because he’s learned that Jeongguk always voluntarily shares things he wants known, like how he’s not very fond of people who pry into his private life. Jeongguk knows he should give Taehyung a little more credit. For someone who’s come to Jeongguk’s aid every single time he needed it, someone who had to create a ruse just to be able to get Jeongguk out of the danger zone with people every time, Jeongguk thinks Taehyung’s earned a place in Jeongguk’s inner circle. Maybe.

“I’ll see you tomorrow,” Jeongguk says when they reach Taehyung’s door.

“Are you going to be okay?” Taehyung asks. “Are you sure you don’t want me to go with you?” He has his hand on Jeongguk’s arm, steady and comforting.

“I’m fine,” Jeongguk says, managing to put a smile on his face. “See you tomorrow.” He turns to go but Taehyung calls after him.

“Jeongguk, you know that I’m your friend too, right?” Taehyung says, lower lip in between his teeth again. “Before whatever or anything else, I’m your friend and you can always come to me about anything.”

Jeongguk looks at Taehyung. Out of all the people in the world, how is he lucky enough to have been saddled with Kim Taehyung? How is it that Taehyung found him in that crazy party? How is it that Jeongguk was at the right place when Taehyung needed him? It’s interesting how the pieces came together for them to be friends right now, and Jeongguk has never been so grateful. He can’t help but think that whomever Taehyung chooses to love, they're going to be incredibly lucky and unbelievably happy. For Jeongguk, who’s always thought that love is just like a flash of light that burns really bright for a while but then fizzles into darkness, he kind of sees in Taehyung the unending love that some people talk about, kind of like the way the sun just sets but never really goes away.










It’s past midnight, freezing, and his sneakers are going to get worn out. He’s probably to have blisters too, but Jeongguk doesn’t care. The oval is deserted and quiet, as is expected at this time of the night. The crunch of dirt underneath his shoes echo loudly across the track and Jeongguk just runs harder to make even more noise, his breathing becoming more and more laboured with each push. Right now, all he needs is to run.

His mother is probably halfway to their hometown right now and, still, Jeongguk can’t feel like they’re far apart enough. Seeing her just brought back things he’s never really learned how to deal with. Seeing her by herself, hair greying, looking a little bit thinner than the last time he saw her. He hates that he had to see her like this, without warning, without preparing himself, without having to come to terms with everything in his head. It’s unfair to his mother, who hasn’t really done anything wrong and who hasn’t stopped reaching out to her youngest son.

Jeongguk heaves a breath as he circles the oval for what feels like the hundredth time. His chest hurts, breathing laboured from the overexertion, his leg muscles feel too tight, even his arms are hurting. He hasn’t run like this in a long time, like he’s running out of breaths to take, like his heart is going to explode, like there is nothing to go back to. Jeongguk knows he’s being careless. He’s an athlete and he knows that he’s not taking care of himself very well right now. If Joonmyun sees him, his face is probably going to contort in several different expressions, unsure as to how to deal with an out-of-control Jeongguk. But Jeongguk can’t help himself. Running is the only thing that seemed to help for a while. Running made the yelling fall faint. Running made the tears stop from trying to burst out. Running made him forget. Running makes him okay. He’s not sure what else is there that can do all of those things.

“Jeongguk! What are you doing here?”

Jeongguk turns his head so abruptly in the direction of the call that he misses a step and trips. He hits his knees on the dirt, followed by his hands and arms, and rolls several times on the ground, red bits and pieces of the gravel of the oval sticking to his skin and clothes. Jeongguk just lies on his side, closing his eyes, unwilling to feel anything, especially even more pain.

“Jeongguk!”

The rushed footsteps reach his side just seconds after his fall and then there’s someone crouching over him, blocking the faint light of the moon, fingers skimming over his face.

“What are you doing here, Taehyung?” Jeongguk grunts, voice ending up raspy as he shifts and feels the pain of his fall. He blinks several times until he gets a good focus at Taehyung hovering over him, in a plain white shirt and grey track pants, hair tied up like that time during tryouts. His face is a little bit swollen, lips too pink and eyes a bit puffy, like he was startled awake. “It’s got to be two in the morning,” he continues, squeezing his eye shut as he tries to breathe evenly. “What are you still doing up?"

“It’s much later actually,” Taehyung corrects him with a huff. Jeongguk opens his eyes when Taehyung places a gentle hand on his cheek. “What the hell are you doing running at three A.M., Jeongguk?”

“I love to run,” is all Jeongguk answers, and then he’s sitting up and groaning as he realizes that he’d fallen harder than he thought. He has scrapes on both his palms, elbows, and arms, he has a big gash on his right knee, and there’s a blackening bruise on his left shin. “Fuck,” he hisses.

“C’mon, let’s get you sorted out,” Taehyung says, biting his lower lip as he helps Jeongguk up. “My place is nearer.”

Jeongguk tries not to lean on Taehyung so much because he’s a heavy burden. Taehyung was probably in bed, happily asleep, and doesn’t deserve to be woken up only to take care of Jeongguk, who can’t seem to get a handle on himself.

“I’m really fine,” Jeongguk tries to argue. “It’s just a few scrapes and bruises. I’ll just sleep it off.”

Taehyung scoffs. “Well then, you can sleep it off at my place,” he insists. “I’m not going to let you go back home by yourself.” He fits himself better under Jeongguk’s arm and tightens his arm around Jeongguk’s waist. “You’re probably just going to run back there and then run around your apartment block until you collapse or something,” he mutters.

Jeongguk doesn’t say anything because Taehyung is right.

Taehyung deposits Jeongguk to the couch and leaves to get the first aid kit under the bathroom’s kitchen sink. Jeongguk’s been in Taehyung’s apartment often enough that he knows where things are, like how he knows that Taehyung has two other junk food storages, in case people the one in the kitchen and finished everything. Or like how Taehyung has too many books about the outer space and extraterrestrial life or how he has CDs upon CDs of downloaded anime shows stored in a special box under his bed. Jeongguk chuckles at how interesting and ridiculous Taehyung is.

“What are you laughing at?” Taehyung asks, sitting beside Jeongguk, opening the first aid kit. He takes out some cotton, several gauzes, a bottle of alcohol and an ointment of some sort.

“Have you finished Haikyuu!! yet?” Jeongguk asks instead of answering his question, turning to him just as he's soaking a cotton ball with alcohol, his hair making a swooshing sound as it slides across the head of the couch.

Taehyung is staring at him with wide, blinking eyes, pink mouth hanging a little open, his hands frozen in their movement. “How do you know I’m watching Haikyuu!!?” he kind of demands, pressing his lips together afterwards.

Jeongguk rolls his eyes and lifts his head to shake it properly. “Remember? I was telling you to just actually join the track team after you whined, yet again, that you never get informed of meet dates, and then you said that you were actually thinking of joining the volleyball team because you liked that orange-haired protagonist and thought he’s so cool,” he relays, drawing quotation marks in the air with his fingers.

Taehyung opens his mouth and the closes it again like he wants to say something but isn’t sure that he wants to. His face goes through several expressions, most of it Jeongguk is unable to identify because they flit through so fast. But then Taehyung narrows his eyes at Jeongguk.

“And you assumed it was Haikyuu!!?” he says, but Jeongguk gets the feeling that’s not what he means to ask at all.

Jeongguk shrugs. “It’s the only volleyball anime that I know of that has a guy with orange hair as the protagonist,” he tells him. “I don’t watch a lot of anime either, but that’s one I have seen at least.” He leans back on the couch again. “So did you actually try out for the volleyball team?” he asks.

“Yes,” Taehyung says as he takes Jeongguk’s left hand and presses a cotton soaked with alcohol on the wound there. Jeongguk flinches but doesn’t say anything, eyes trained on the way Taehyung is very carefully cleaning the scrape. “I got in actually, but it’s not for me,” he goes on before Jeongguk can ask. “It’s more fun watching it.”

Jeongguk chuckles. “You should just join the track team anyway,” he encourages, for what reason, he isn’t sure. All he knows is that Taehyung can run and they can certainly use someone like him on the team.

“I don’t need to,” Taehyung answers, eyes concentrated on Jeongguk’s arm and elbow. He dabs the scrapes with alcohol and Jeongguk just breathes deeply each time. “You already tell me about the competition schedule and I’m always present during practices anyway."

“As my cheerleader,” Jeongguk comments with a chuckle and Taehyung looks up to smile at him.

“It’s the best position on the team, if I do say so myself,” Taehyung tells him with a proud smile before looking back down to continue tending to Jeongguk.

Jeongguk feels something squeeze at his heart and, although it doesn’t hurt, it does feel weird. He shifts once more in his seat and sighs as Taehyung moves to his other side to tend to his right hand, arm, and elbow.

“I’m sorry I’m keeping you up,” Jeongguk finally says. “I was about to stop and go home when you showed up."

“I’m sure you were,” Taehyung says. It’s should sound sarcastic and even a bit condescending, but that is never how Taehyung is so it just sounds uncertain when it comes from him. He very gently pats Jeongguk's skin, his fingers brushing against it, leaving little pinpricks of warmth.

Jeongguk waits for Taehyung to ask why the hell was he out so late, why he was running so goddamn hard, why he seems so angry. He waits and waits, but the question never comes. Taehyung just keeps on tending on the bruises on his right arm, touch soothing and calming. If it were Jimin, Jimin wouldn’t need to ask because he would already know and he would tell Jeongguk things that Jeongguk doesn’t always want to hear. Jieun, on the other hand… Jeongguk sighs. He’s not entirely sure what Jieun would do anymore. The old Jieun, the one who doesn’t seem like she’s avoiding Jeongguk, would sit with him and tell him soothingly what she thinks he should do, and then she would hug him and hum a song to help calm him down. Taehyung doesn’t do any of that. He just sits there, making sure that Jeongguk isn’t hurting any more than he already is.

“I saw my mom today,” Jeongguk blurts out before he can stop himself. Taehyung stills his dabbing of ointment on Jeongguk’s palm for a second before continuing without a word. Jeongguk squeezes his eyes shut as he remembers how big his mother’s smile was when he walked into the apartment. “I saw her today and it—it’s the first time I’ve seen her in three years,” he chokes at saying it out loud but takes a deep breath and reels himself in.

His mother was close to tears when she pulled him in for a hug, Jimin excusing himself and going to his room at the intimacy of the moment. If Jeongguk were to admit it, he really felt like crying too. He hasn’t hugged his mother in so long, he had almost forgotten what it felt like. He thought that just by hearing her voice every so often over the phone, it would compensate for the burden he’s putting the both of them through. But of course it doesn’t. Seeing her and hugging her was proof of that. And Jeongguk felt so sorry.

Taehyung is kneeling on the floor, putting a gauze over the gash on Jeongguk’s knee when he speaks up again.

“She was wearing that blouse with her black slacks,” Jeongguk goes on, eyes opening, and Taehyung looks up at him in curiosity. “It’s light blue with small yellow and pink flowers all over it, it has a collar and it’s pretty, makes her look like she…” He breathes deeply as he meets Taehyung’s gaze. “My dad bought it for her on their first anniversary after they got married,” he shares, smiling a little as he remembers his mom telling him the story. “They were on their honeymoon and my dad wanted to buy my mom something she liked. She didn’t want anything because she already felt so happy, but my dad kept on insisting. So she pointed at the first thing that she saw.” He pauses as Taehyung’s fingers move downward to his ankle, holding on with a kind of reverence and support Jeongguk hasn’t really known. “It was that blouse,” he tells him. “It’s so old but it’s my mom’s favorite article of clothing.” He chuckles a little, blinking rapidly as his eyes well up with tears. “I can’t believe it still fits her,” he says, instead of I can’t believe she still wears it.

Taehyung moves back to sit beside Jeongguk now that he’s done mending Jeongguk’s hurts. Jeongguk isn’t sure why he does it, but he pulls Taehyung to him, wraps his arms around him and holds him. Taehyung stiffens in his arms and Jeongguk’s brain catches up to what he’s just done. He’s about to push Taehyung away when Taehyung wraps his arms around his waist, making it impossible for Jeongguk to do so. Jeongguk’s eyes flutter shut. It feels nice holding onto someone like this.

“Your hair is tickling me,” Jeongguk whispers, suddenly having the urge to laugh despite the current mood. Taehyung pulls away to take the band off his hair and tossing it over to the table. He stops Taehyung from snuggling back in his arms and reaches up to kind of ruffle his hair back down. “You’ve had your hair brown for a while now. I like it,” he whispers, not sure what he’s saying. Taehyung doesn’t really respond. He just smiles a little, lower lip in between his teeth. He even looks down at Jeongguk’s chin for a second, but just goes back to hugging Jeongguk.

Jeongguk closes his eyes and just breathes deeply.

“They were in love, you know,” Jeongguk speaks up after getting used to having Taehyung in his arms. He leans his cheek on Taehyung’s head and he thinks he hears Taehyung sigh. “They’ve been together forever, high school sweethearts. My dad said that he knew my mom was the girl for him the moment he laid eyes on her.” He pauses as he turns his head and buries his face in Taehyung’s hair, which smells like strawberries and balmy summers. “They were in love in the kind of way that made you believe in forever and happily ever after. It was kind of a real life fairy tale. My dad looked at my mom like she was his everything and she looked at him like he was her universe and—“ He cuts himself off. Taehyung fists his shirt and presses even closer.

Somewhere along the line, his parents started being less happy and the fairy tale started to crumble. Jeongguk didn’t notice it at first. He didn’t understand why his father started working more and more late or why his mother suddenly kept to herself more. He wasn’t sure why his brother never wanted to be at home anymore. Until Jeongguk walked into a raging fight, where his father’s face was contorted in anger and his mother’s was wet with tears.

Jeongguk isn’t sure how long he sits there, lost in his thoughts, holding onto Taehyung like his life depends on it. But he knows that it’s long enough to know it’s been too long and too much. He’s said too much too fast and it’s something he’s never wanted anyone to be burdened with. There are reasons why he is the way he is and he thinks it’s not anyone’s business why that is so.

“I should go,” Jeongguk speaks up, voice rough from too much emotion. “You should get some rest. You have a nine A.M. class,” he reminds Taehyung, who pulls away with a frown on his face.

“I’m going to skip it,” Taehyung tells him as he yawns. “Just sleep here.” He gets up and stretches his arms over his head. Jeongguk’s eyes flit to the sliver of skin that gets exposed under his shirt and gets up.

“You have that paper due tomorrow though. You can’t skip that class,” Jeongguk reminds him with a frown. He doesn’t like that Taehyung’s going to skip class because Jeongguk kept him up. Taehyung already does so much for him.

Taehyung blinks at him and smiles through his sleepiness. “Oh Jeongguk,” he says, laughing a little and shaking his head.

“What?” Jeongguk demands when Taehyung links his arm with his and pulls him to the bedroom. “You do!"

“I do,” Taehyung agrees. “But I already sent it in yesterday. I really don’t have to go to class,” he assures him as he flops face down on one side of the bed, the left side because, of course, Taehyung knows that Jeongguk prefers the right side. “Besides, I can afford to skip. I’m acing everything."

“Nerd,” Jeongguk huffs under his breath as he takes his shoes and socks off, hissing because, yes, he’s got blisters.

“I heard that,” Taehyung says, voice muffled where his face is smushed into the pillow. “C’mon Jeongguk,” he kind of whines and Jeongguk smiles a little because Taehyung is such a baby when he’s sleepy. “It’s cold.”

Jeongguk pinks at the implication of the words but he shakes it off because it’s Taehyung and he’s Jeongguk and it’s not like that at all. He takes his shirt off anyway, because he hates it when he wears clothing in his sleep, and moves to the left side of the bed to help Taehyung get under the covers. Taehyung grumbles as he does so, but once he’s safely tucked in, Jeongguk gets right in beside him. Taehyung moves to his side so that he’s facing Jeongguk. Jeongguk faces him and sees that Taehyung’s eyes are open, barely.

“Go to sleep,” Jeongguk tells him. He reaches out to close Taehyung’s eyes, but Taehyung catches his wrist before he can. Jeongguk swallows when Taehyung presses a kiss to his knuckles, his breath catching in his throat. Taehyung’s lips are soft and a little bit moist.

“What,” Jeongguk whispers, not entirely sure if he’s reacting or asking a question.

“You should know that there are people who love you and will love you for a long time,” Taehyung tells him, smiling little, his eyes most disappearing. “I say for a long time because I know forever isn’t a word you believe in. But it’s true, Jeongguk,” he presses on. “And you might not believe it or understand why, but it’s true and it’s reality. So I’m giving you a kiss to remind you of that. There are people who love you. There always will be people who’ll love you if you’ll just let them.”

Taehyung gives him a dopey smile and then he closes his eyes, his breathing evening. Jeongguk watches as the lines of Taehyung’s face clear up and fade as he falls into dreamland. There’s still a little bit of a smile on his face and Jeongguk returns it, closing his eyes because Taehyung is so… he doesn’t even know how to describe him; he isn’t sure there’s a perfect word to do so.

Taehyung shifts in his sleep and moves to probably turn to his other side or something, but Jeongguk’s eyes fly open when he feels Taehyung’s hand slipping from his. He grips it and pulls Taehyung close, even when his heart is hammering in his chest because he doesn’t understand what he’s doing. All he knows that Taehyung makes the tears stop from trying to burst out, makes him forget, and makes him feel okay. And he doesn’t really want to let go of that.


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